gay vampire suck: the interactive novel

[Philip K Dick]

the rules are you do the next sentence of the story



once upon a time there was a gay vampire named horatio.

[rtil]

the year is 1965, and horatio is with his battalion in saigon, in the heat of the vietnam war.

[ExistingViolation]

As  Horatio's eyes glaze over from the boredom of guard duty,  his partner-on-point began to shout racial slurs and charges into the underbrush.

[Flash]

the sound of an elaborate vernacular being narrowed down and mutilated solely for the purpose of trash-talk and hatred made a deep cut on the gay vampire's gay poetic sensibilities.

[Sheepy]

"SMACK", the sound of Horatio's hand slapping his comrades buttocks sent echoes across the godforsaken jungle.

[Philip K Dick]

His comrade, a greasy new recruit named Albert, shoots Horatio a dirty look.

[sev]

Horatio gestures back with a stern, dominating glare before proceeding to coyly moisten his nasty shriveled vampire lips with his long, fulgurating tongue.

[Sheepy]

"B-Baka!" Albert shouts, he turns his back to his commander, Sergeant Pickles who's been watching the shenanigans in utter disdain of his soldiers.

[sev]

"Albert," Pickles began, slowly puffing out his chest and letting out a sigh, "Part of growing up is doing things that you have to do, not just whatever you want."

[dilly]

Pickles, after staring his soldiers up and down, began to loosen his belt, his eyebrows dancing upon his forehead.

[Sheepy]

Pants dropped, cigar lit, Pickles waddles closer, not only to his soldiers, but to their hearts as well.

[Philip K Dick]

Just as Pickles begins strapping on his rubber glove, there's a deafening pop and Horatio gets knocked off his feet.

[dilly]

Then, Vladimir, other wise known as the Long Shlong from Transylvania, appeared, his godlike presence to inspire the soldiers to present their anuses.

[Philip K Dick]

Long Schlong's intimidating presence was enough to make even Sgt. Pickles quiver.

[dilly]

"Ah hauve cahm to sauve you ahll from de darkness," Vladimir said as he stroked Pickles' butt, "Veef my long.... shlong... ~"

[sev]

"Sugoi...", Albert shivered with fear and turned to Horatio with wide eyes, "That guy is the LONG SHLONG... I heard he once took out an entire enemy platoon, by himself..." —




























































"with his PENIS", he added.

[redmongoose]

"Did somebody say my name?"  quipped Long Schlongs penis as it slithered out of his pantleg.

[dilly]

"Oh precious Vladimir, these men are unworthy of your shlong," Pickles began as he kissed Vladimir's feet with his whore mouth, "My pooper is your sanctuary"

[sev]

Finally catching an eyeful of Vladimir's GIANT PENIS, the very reason for his epithet, Albert lost control and had a mental breakdown — crying, pulling on his face and pelvic thrusting into the floor, he could not contain his overflow of emotions any longer.

[dilly]

"See how he offends you with his pointless thrusting!" Pickles spat, "That is not how one makes the dirty in the turdy,"