Legacy of the Quivering Horse

[Philip K Dick]

Legacy of the Quivering Horse
by Armon Pakdel

We were all gathered 'round the campfire that night. Old Man Bars was about to tell us a weedy tale to nibble our lanky biceps out. It was nearing the snip of midnight, and all six of us had formed a circle around the flowery heat.
"Has any a' ye heard th' tale of th' crusty mongoose?" ejaculated Bars.
We all shook our heads.
"I'd say to meself 'twas a good fifteen, no, twenties, maybe a sun and a moon more-"
"Get on with the story, old man!"
"Aye. Me an' a couple a' greasy librarians were out searchin'."
"Searchin' for what?"
"Hold yer eyebrow, child, I'm gettin' there. Anywhom, we eventually came across a rabid were-jackalope. I managed t' wrangle the beast into a conforming hank. Aye, but th' feline escaped from his prison an' tore open into me beefiest chihuahua."
"What happened next?"
"We was lost without th' help of the fiesty mongrel. We didn't know what t' do.
"So what DID you do, Old Man Bars?"
"We quickly evolved into snakes an' argued our way into th' nearest bazaar."
Then, before anyone could even THINK about reacting, Old Man Bars flopped over and began to vomit out his innards. Before we knew it, Old Man Bars was dead on the ground.
So much for Old Man Bars. At least he did one thing right.

Chapter 12: Never You Mind

You don't even know who I am, but you're following me around like you do. I don't care though. It's not like you're the first one. I'll continue the narration...
Deciding it would be a good idea to go to school the next morning, I farbled out of bed and descended down the marble steps to my dressing drawer. When I got down, I saw someone I thought I would never see.
"Henrietta! What are you doing here?" I sputtered, unsure of how to react to the face I had quarrelled with so much during my life.
No response. I took a step backward, aware of the concealed knife. There was a long moment of silence, just a quiet staring contest in a dusty old living room. Then I bolted. I kicked the door open and emerged into sunlight. I had made it halfway down the street when I tripped over my own feet. I spiraled to the ground, hitting the pavement hard. My face skid across the street, creating a trail of blood. To top it all off, a car drove right over me! What a bitch!
Well, if you want to make fun of me now, I suppose you should. I'm lying here in the middle of the road, mangled and torn. I should be in the hospital right now, not lying here like a djembe, a west african hand drum.
But what if I was lying? What if none of that ever happened? Maybe I went to school like usual, got an A+, 100%. Or maybe I failed. F. 34%. Retakes next tuesday during tutorial.
But it really doesn't matter in the end, because I can tell you whatever I want, and get away with it, right?
Right?
To top it all off, I hate you.

Chapter 14: Jasper

You don't know Jasper.
Jasper is one of those people who you never really understand until you meet him.
For example, is Jasper a transvestite? You wouldn't know that until you met him.
Another example: Does Jasper have a gold earring with the words "COOL" embedded into it? Again, you wouldn't know that until you met him.
I didn't even know that Jasper invented the grapefruit sunday until I met him.
It was a complete coincidence, actually. We were in the same room, and by nature I tend to avoid... those type of people. But there was an alluring smell about him. Not sexual at all. It was more... food-oriented.
That's another thing about Jasper. He's an amazing cook. His chocolate hashbrowns are the best.
Jasper is a great guy when he's not in one of his moods. One time Jasper grew an afro just because he felt like it.
If I had to pick one person in the world who I would call on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?", I would call Jasper, just because he's so cool. I mean, he has an earring that says he is. How could he not be cool?
Now you know Jasper.

[MRat]

THERE ARE CHAPTERS MISSING! I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!

[trent bortknob]

lmfao

"We quickly evolved into snakes an\\\' argued our way into th\\\' nearest bazaar."
Then, before anyone could even THINK about reacting, Old Man Bars flopped over and began to vomit out his innards. Before we knew it, Old Man Bars was dead on the ground.
So much for Old Man Bars. At least he did one thing right.

[mishkamash]

To top it all off, I hate you.

ehehehehhh

[Gerkinman]

Im at work and dont have time to read it all, can you please put up a one sentence abreviated version?