The Ampersand Project (Original Manga)

[cipher]

Taking Zekey's advice, I would just focus on doing some anatomy studies on the side, maybe try to adapt them to your characters a bit. While he has a point, I think he's asking a bit too much.

As far as designs go, I would just try out a bunch of different concepts, mix and match, etc.

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

Reread my post.
What you need to do is there.
You gotta go back to the basics and learn to draw.

[soup]

I really want to make this a good manga.

has it gotta be a manga theres an awful lot of that about already

also one thing i guess you could consider is "why should the viewer care for your comic"

the guy was stand offish and kind of a dick, so i didnt like him.
the girl was annoying and zany, so i didnt like her.

you have to consider what exactly you are offering to the viewer to keep reading. a thrilling story laced with twists and turns? an awesome visual style to keep them entertained? a moral or a story that maybe makes them think about or look at something in a different way?

what are the characters doing. saving the world? okay cool, but if i dont care anything for them or the world they live in, why should i keep reading?

[Sterling]

I see your point; I'll work on character development.
Thanks for the advice, guys!

[bd648]

I see your point; I'll work on character development.
Thanks for the advice, guys!

you get my respect for listening to critique. bravo.

[Sterling]

So I did a few sketches to try and improve my anatomy (please disregard the one on the far left.)


I also made a concept for a new monster design.

I'd love some feedback, guys!

[rtil]

what are you using to study anatomy at the moment?

[Sterling]

More or less looking at people and looking up pictures on the internet.

[Sinitron]

so what you're saying is, YOU'RE JERKING OFF TO GAY PORNO YOU FAGGIT WTF

anyway unless you're a native japanese with their shitty culture coming our your asshole you shouldn't draw a 'manga'

and like zekey said, you clearly don't understand why they do the things you want to do

characters in anime and manga are generally fucking shit and bland as fuck, do you know why?

because they don't do traditional character development, they use shitty stubborn characters as part of a story element in some way

the difference is some of them tell good stories, and others don't, the ones that can't tell a good story end up being fucking shit because the characters are dumb too

your anatomy sketches are still wonky, but still a massive improvement, they look more like you actually gave a shit about what you were doing

if you can't make your comics look like you give a shit and fill them with half-assed knock-off characters you can't expect anyone else to take it seriously either

that's a dangerous path to ruin, when you can't make your shit distinct or good enough to stand out, and don't understand your source material either

also, never cut off the iris or pupil when drawing eyes, this is another common mistake done by Amateur Anime Artists because they have no fucking idea what they are doing

keep in mind the style you're attempting to emulate is derived from the old disney cartoons, with an irradiated hiroshima twist to it

i highly recommend you study that as well to get a better understanding of why they've stylized certain things, ie things like the typically enlarged manga eyes stem both from large and expressive cartoon eyes and also supposedly some kind of asian inferiority complex (unless they're chinese but fuck china)

WHY DO YOU THINK BROCK IS THE ONLY ASIAN IN POKEMON, AND WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S A PERVERTED ASSHOLE? IT'S BECAUSE HE REPRESENTS JAPANESE SELF-LOATHING

i'm just bullshitting by this point but you get the idea, you CAN do better as seen in your new sketches if you just gain an understanding of what you're trying to do instead of just mimicking what you've seen

[sev]

some of the critique in this thread is useful, but a few things i want to add though:

a sequential juxtapose of images used to tell a story is a "comic". the japanese word for this is "manga". the korean word for this is "manhwa". there are many other terms for this, but in the west, it is wholly a "comic". culturally, there is a difference, much like the difference between the american "cartoon" and the japanese "anime". if you make a comic and you live in the west, it's better to call it a comic, or else you will probably rub people the wrong way.

people in this thread are telling you to study some anatomy likely because they believe that's the most glancing thing that lacks in your work, and they're generally right, but i believe you're a little too early to go straight into anatomy. in my opinion, you should understand the basic forms and how to use them, and build forms made out of the cube, sphere, and cylinder. a really good resource i'd recommend starting with is this torrent: http://thepiratebay.se/torrent/7409774/Vilppu_Studio._(Anatomy__Drawing_Manual__Head_Anatomy_and_Constr

even just downloading the pdf's from this will give you some basic exercises to practice to dramatically improve your art. i personally like this training resource, because it teaches the forms while applying it directly to figure drawing, which helps ease the monotony of getting the basics down using some direct application to what you want to be drawing. the exercises in the drawing manual pdf are to be used independently and with the aid of a model or other pose reference. a good resource for this can be found here: http://artists.pixelovely.com/practice-tools/figure-drawing/ — otherwise, there are plenty of videos in this torrent on anatomy and proportions. definitely start with the pdf file and go from there. you might also benefit from videos by Proko, which interpret some of the concepts Vilppu goes over.

the advice a lot of people give to young artists who draw the way you do is "don't copy anime, anime will make you a bad artist". i don't think any art style will make you a bad artist by default, and that you should draw the things you like. however, it is important to have a foundation and understanding of why something works before trying to make it work yourself. if you want to draw like the anime/manga artists you look up to, use their styles as a supplement — draw things from life and from observation and then analyze how the artists you like handle those things, be it their simplification of anatomy, their poses, their expressions, their line quality, the way they handle volumes, whatever you want. but figure out how it works in life first, since all things are derived from the real world.

at this point in an artist's development, the best advice is to just draw a lot of everything that appeals to you — most people in your position keep doing that and eventually realize there's something wrong with their work, usually through critique from other people or naturally through the progression of personal taste and comparison to other artists. it might feel overwhelming, but the feedback you're getting from people here, though it may vary from person to person, is generally a clear indicator of how your art is received by your audience. so consider how other people perceive your art, consider how you perceive your art, and draw what will ultimately allow you to achieve your goals.

[Bamyasi]

I like how Sinister's post starts out restating Zekey's anatomical complaints but then goes on a rant about anime plotlines.

Classic Sinister.

[Sterling]

so what you're saying is, YOU'RE JERKING OFF TO GAY PORNO YOU FAGGIT WTF

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

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Just kidding.

If you guys don't mind me stopping this, I had a few other things going you guys may like better:

Spark:
It's another manga, but a fair bit more serious.
It's on a planet parallel to Earth (in a way revealed later along), and the use of magic is common, only few can use elemental magic, including a pyrokinetic child who became a pariah after burning down a village and a runaway princess who acts more like a bezerker.

Bob:
A comic; a little kid wanted more than anything to become a superhero, and did (without the powers, of course). As an adult, he achieved renown and praise as a superhero. A bitter jealous tycoon framed him for a major crime, and convinced the world to shun him, leading to him becoming like the criminals he used to foil. An old friend is able to convince him to become a bounty hunter as a way to get money, and a subsequent chain of events lead him to face the very man who made the world cast him aside.

ReBoot (not related to the show):
A comic about a trio of friends who form a band and get into weird situations. It's not very serious most of the time, and doesn't really adhere to a big storyline.

And then there's this brand new thing I just started on that I'm still fleshing out.

[soup]

Spark sounds like Dorohedoro meets Avatar: The Last Airbender

but yeh I like the Bob story a lot that ones quite interesting actually

[rtil]

i think your art is more important than a story atm. but ultimately it is up to you

[crackers]

The fact you have three different ideas "going" already, and are just ready to drop this one at a moment's notice makes me seriously question your staying-power. It seems like you're far too flighty with concepts. Find something and stick to it, no one likes an unfinished storyline

[Bamyasi]

The only reason why it works like that in Japan is due to Japanese being a "backwards" language

There goes Sheepy being racist again.

[Sterling]

So what you're saying is...
I should write it in Japanese?

I see your point; I've just been doing it out of habit, but, yeah, I'll do it the other way.

[rtil]

writing it in japanese isn't enough. you must become japanese.