A Discussion of Current Events

[99]

I'd like to invite you all to discuss the context behind the events that have spanned back a few months, and more importantly, that have recently transpired. I know that I may not be the most appropriate person to initiate such a discussion as I have been relatively inactive on the site for some time.  I would like it if we could think about what we look for in this community and what it means to us.  I would even more appreciate it if  we could take a critical look at our own participation or alternatively, observation of recent events.  It is my concern that what has come to pass,  and more specifically the consequences of certain actions have fostered an environment of polarization, mob mentality and mean-spirited behavior.  Yes, I realize this is the internet and yes I realize this might be an uphill battle, but i do this becuase I genuinely feel concern for the well being of all of you and this community as a whole.  It has been a source of camaraderie and inspiration for me and I truly appreciate everyone here.  I hope that in talking about this matter civilly, we can create a conversation about what we value as a group, how to make sure that visiting TBA is an enjoyable experience, and hopefully reach a level of mutual understanding.


I would greatly appreciate it if we could keep to certain guidelines:

-Civility
-Refraining from finger pointing
-Clarification of issues rather than jumping to conclusions
-Trying to maintain objectivity (I realize this might be difficult)
-Empathy towards others' viewpoints

Thank you; I appreciate any and all respectful and meaningful input.

[put]

fukc yiou

fukc yiou

[BluPhoenix]

fukc yiou

fukc yiou

thank you for this it will be forever remembered as the post that brought us all together

[rtil]

since this topic hasn't really been discussed seriously in a more permanent context, i am going to use this opportunity explain my actions one last time, because i need to take responsibility for it as the admin of the site.

first of all, i want everyone to know who doesn't know already that this was a decision made on my own accord over the course of a few days of talking to several people and watching some events that were at the time unfolding. it's not a decision that was easily made, it's not a decision i wanted to make, and it's not a decision that i thought would come without consequence.

however, what did happen over those few days led me to believe that j had lied to me, and others, several times about putting something behind him that personally, emotionally and psychologically affected others and himself in a negative way, and was exacerbating a situation that everyone would have rather put behind them a long time ago. whether or not he was directly involved in these actions were strictly anecdotal, but what to consider on my perspective was the same story from several people, or a completely different one from the accused.

i had noticed a pattern that j would play the victim and lay the blame on other people for his own actions when confronted about these issues, and expected me to protect his character. this had been going on for months, and in the wake of it, many people that had done nothing wrong were victims of manipulation on his part - perhaps unknowingly, but in my opinion, not.

from my own personal point of view, j used his friends to defend himself when it was advantageous for him, instead of living up to his actions. when a friend didn't do what he wanted or upset him, he would use this same method, all the while pretending to be nonchalant about the issue as if nothing was happening. this passive aggressive behavior had been going on for a very long time.

in the end, i ultimately decided that it was better for tba and for j if he was banned. for tba, because of the negative stigma he was creating and the sense of control and attention he craved, and for j, so that he can find a more healthy outlet.

i don't want to demonize him, but i do think he has some severe social issues that he can only help himself with. after this topic, i would appreciate it if he isn't brought up unless completely necessary, and i also would ask that if anyone has a personal issue with j's banning that they would take it up with me in private or in this topic, because i take full responsibility for it.

[sev]

It is my concern that what has come to pass,  and more specifically the consequences of certain actions have fostered an environment of polarization, mob mentality and mean-spirited behavior.

with all due respect, i don't understand how you or anyone else who has pointed this out to me could start noticing any evidence of mob-mentality and mean-spirited behavior only now. i'd logically assumed you would have seen it earlier at any point in which myself (though my own attitude and demeanor at the times weren't particularly helpful to my own defense) and a multitude of people at different points were outed from this site and trashed by the "mob-mentality" created at the time by one or more of the people who were banned this week.

It has been a source of camaraderie and inspiration for me and I truly appreciate everyone here.

i agree, and i don't think the events that have transpired in the last few days have changed that. in fact, it honestly feels more friendly in here. it's nice to be able to talk about things without some moron ironically yelling re-quotes of things i've said taken out of context at me. it's nice to be able to shoot the shit with people without being antagonized. and maybe, in the near future, this place will reach the full level of camaraderie that it had when you came here and even before that, at which point people might be able to tell their close friends that they met here anything in confidence that it won't be used to exploit them later for the selfish and/or malicious intents of said "trusted friends".

as for the actual bans themselves i totally agree that they were deserved, speaking from my own bias as well as the fact that i've been on this site pretty much since it began. honestly, i think that it's the best thing to ever happen to this community. hopefully going forward there doesn't have to ever be any more drama.

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

where are all these cute cat avatars coming from

[sev]

where are all these cute cat avatars coming from

http://neutralx0.net/tool/bnmk.html

[Philip K Dick]

and so there i was...

[dilly]

let's all just hold hands and sing kumbayah



i got marshmallows

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

where are all these cute cat avatars coming from

http://neutralx0.net/tool/bnmk.html

[Ashington]

lets not and say we did

[Sinitron]

nobody move i cut a pig dick and i will force you to eat it

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

[vimeo]10972754[/vimeo]

[Sinitron]

a sonic recolorist cried out in anguish

[redmongoose]

its my fault guys sorry

[lenko]

[Sinitron]

fucc an cooc

[99]

Fixed.  Sorry about that.

[Sinitron]

it honestly doesn't matter if your spelling is shit, j is a fag and nobody will miss him, him and his friends wont take a hint and will still talk shit about everyone behind their backs or whatever on skype and the best you can do is not give a shit and go troll random IRC chats for people who are 50+

[99]

I felt this one instance is an example of deeper issues in the community.  I feel very little connection to this most recent fiasco and ma only commenting from an outsiders perspective.  Its the behavior the mentalist of dragging people through he mud that worries me.  I just wanted to try see if people would be willing to open up so that we can learn from each other.  If there's any way to prevent another drama from occurring i thought most people would to take part in that.