Embargo

[Philip K Dick]

By S.PUMPKIN
   
   1999
   
   Dandelion Rose had shapely fingers that weren't too big or too small and fit perfectly on her perfect hands. Clayton and Calvin Woodard both agreed that Dandelion's fingers were the most attractive part of her body. There was a strange magic about those fingers that not even her round, firm, perfect breasts, her trim and lean waist, or her smooth creamy thighs couldn't outdo.
   Dandelion Rose was a freshman at Montgomery High School, but had already acquired a repertoire of friends not too far into the beginning of the first semester. Clayton and Calvin Woodard were not among those friends. The Woodards twins had at once noticed Dandelion Rose's majestic phalanges from the moment they had seen the girl. They shared an algebra class that extended to sophomore year.

   "You have outstanding hands," remarked Calvin one day as he, his twin, and Dandelion exited algebra.

   "Indeed. Your fingers are quite astounding," added Clayton.

   Dandelion gave the twins a funny look. "Thanks?"

   "I'm Calvin," said Calvin, extending his hand.

   "And I'm Clayton. It's a pleasure, Miss Rose!"

   Dandelion backed away a little, ignoring the Woodard's friendly gesture(s).

   "I gotta... go," said Dandelion, before dashing off.  

   Later that day at the Woodard residence, Clayton and Calvin played some Super Smash Bros Melee while discussing the finer points of Dandelion Rose's hands.

   "So which one of Dandelion's fingers is your favorite?" said Clayton as he Down-A'd his twin brother out of the ring.

   "Definitely the index finger. I bet it tastes just like mother's home made borscht."

   "Pssht. Her middle finger is OBVIOUSLY the most delicious. And who likes home made borscht anyway?"

   "You don't like mother's borscht?" exclaimed Calvin. "Heathen!"

   Calvin raised his Gamecube controller above his head and brought it down hard upon his twin brother's cranium, screaming like a lunatic. When it was all over, Clayton's head was nothing but a bloody stump.

   "Heh! Heh! Heh! It was the plan all along!"

   The next day at the school, Calvin asked Dandelion out on a date.

   "Fuck no, dude. You think I'd go out with a little weirdo like you?" Dandelion snickered.

   Calvin wept tears of agony as he was arrested by the cops for the murder of his twin brother

[trent bortknob]

laop\fa

[DrRumack]

wat

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

[creamcorn]

the largo embargo

[Mushroomboy5]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRt59aNrE8g