my latest masturpiece

[Philip K Dick]

T[size=]he Romance of Pansy Ginger
By S.PUMPKIN

   Pansy Ginger despised dogs. The canine species was the bane of Pansy's fibrous being, even more so than Beyonce's discography. As Pansy was cycling to work one day, he came upon a dog lying in the middle of the bike lane – but this was no ordinary dog. This was a dead dog.
   
   This dog smells almost as bad as Beyonce's new album... thought Pansy, plugging his nose. As he took his hand off the handlebars to do so, she lost balance and plunged to the salty asphalt below. Landing face first, Pansy broke his nostril in 6 places. It was a miracle that he survived.

   "Why me!" wailed Pansy, as he stood up completely unharmed and got back on his bike. Pansy was black thanks to the one-drop rule, and therefore couldn't swim. So, when he found out that the dog in the middle of the road was actually a tank full of pistol shrimp, he began to panic.

   One of the pistol shrimp was named Beyonce. The end.
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[dilly]

hot damn!