wow fuck malachy

[wps]

ok but remember artista slut is © by me

[LordZeebmork]

i'm seriously considering adding a 'newgrounds quotes' section to this website where you can submit and torture yourself with all the stupid things people like malachy say

lmfao that would be great

[Thor]

heh. Should I try reviewing these movies? I think I can bet a 0 in without it getting deleted, just link away

[rtil]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/445123

and i'm not sure what zeebmork reviewed

[Thor]

oye. I can't honestly give that a 0

maybe a 2 or a 3 at most.

[edit]

Alright I'm going to submit this (grab a snack, this is long)

__________________________

Before you read the following text, take a breath and get all those other reviews that give you 10s out of your mind. I'm going to be very honest and frank with you in that this piece is far from perfect.

I can't help but feel like this ENTIRE cartoon is an inside joke. The only ninja gaiden game I've ever had experience with is that on my cationic NES and I know how hard it is, but everything else just flies WAY over my head. It's almost as if this cartoon caters ONLY to the fanboys and to those who hate the game. Given the demographic of Newgrounds, that might not be a problem, but if I were to show this to, say, some random kid from Malaysia that happened to know English, they wouldn't find it humorous at all.

You shouldn't have to understand the original source to appreciate the work. I've never read the original Robin Hood text, yet I'm able to laugh at the antics of Daffy and Porky in Chuck Jones' "Robin Duck." Even if I had read the original Olde English manuscripts, it would be just as funny. The same goes for the more recent Disney animated feature, Mulan. I've never heard a master storyteller relate to me the full legend, but I can appreciate the movie completely without understanding the legend.

But back to your cartoon: You get points for having smooth animation, but your work lacks the quality animation that would earn praise at a professional studio. Every character in this moves in a really stiff fashion with no coherent body language. The only way you convey the way characters are feeling is through their face, but in reality most acting comes through the BODY. "Hey guys, check this out!" the voice acting sounds excited, but the character's pose is anything but, and the kids on the couch are still slouching over as if they could care less (but they say "cool!"). When the ninja leaps out of the screen, the kids on the couch just sort of sit there watching dumbfounded. It would have been a lot funnier to see them squirming and cowering, trying to avoid drawing attention . Speaking of which, that's a HUGE continuity error right there; the game disk was never inserted into the console. That would have been an excellent point to catch the viewer off guard; they're expecting to see some really hard gameplay footage on the screen, but suddenly a ninja leaps out of nowhere and catches the audience off guard.

I can also tell that you don't work off of reference footage because the ninja's sword slashes, leaps, and kicks lack any weight, and that, to me, ruins the believability of the cartoon and makes it less engaging and therefore less humorous.

The overall timing is WAY too fast once the action starts and you missed plenty of times to get a couple more laughs, especially for that part with the "ninja with boobs." At the risk of sounding like a pervert, you should have done a pan up her long, slender legs; Bring me into the moment with the ninja! He stops long enough to notice this piece of hotness; I should too! And then when the ninja proceeds to go back into the thrashing, it'll ruin the moment and, again, catch the viewer off guard.

The backgrounds could also use some work. For the shots  that don't have those action splashes behind them, the backgrounds are all very flat and the bright colors are all quite distracting from the areas of attention. I suggest you look into the work of the Hudson River School to learn how to use colors to effectively control where the viewer is looking.

Points of praise: The voice acting is good on everyone except for the ninja (he comes across less as an angry assassin and more like someone inhaled a bottle of steroids and decided to shout into a microphone).

So is this a 10? A 10 is a perfect "Don't change anything this is absolutely godlike, THIS is going to save 2D animation" sort of cartoon. There aren't many ACTUAL 10s, at least online. Your cartoon in particular, while amusing, is completely devoid of any technical expertise. You can choose to ignore everything I say here, but if you ever were to include this in a portfolio you ship out to Pixar or Disney or DreamWorks, they're going to say the exact same thing, and they're going to rip it apart even further than I have.

The point I'm trying to make is that you can be just as silly, just as non sequitur, and you can accomplish everything you want to do in this cartoon BETTER with a more established background in the Principles of Animation. Until you realize this, your cartoons won't be much better than  that low budget stuff we see on late night TV or those crappy early television cartoons of the 1950s.
[/edit]

[edit2] Haha. I pasted it and I guess I passed the word limit and I can't edit it. Whoops.

[LordZeebmork]

i'm not sure what zeebmork reviewed

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/445276

[bcube]

gonna review with zeebmorks review cept softer. See if it passes.

"Well"
by: BizarreCube
date: A few seconds ago

I think instead of using only edited sonic sprites, maybe you should custom make them atleast.

I mean, what makes this entry different than any other sprite entries?

Tweens and Filters are good to use, but maybe you should use them on more original things ( or at least a movie with custom sprites.) Originality isn\\\'t an enemy. Besides, Recolors of famous sprites etc, have been used alot and you won\\\'t stand out if you use them.
But if you really are gonna stick with your sprite series, At least make them custom sprites, or something besides sonic and overused things.

[LordZeebmork]

I'm going to use two of my old stolen alts and leave two reviews for an overrated flash:

one-word GREAT!!!!!!!!!111111111 or some shit like that

detailed review explaining why the movie sucks

guess which one will get assed

[Thor]

ThorClodofBlunders = LIES!! ITS WORTH THE 10!!

ThorClodofBlunders = lies!!

I love your art style and humor. Its probobly my 30th+ replay this week.

the clodofblunders, i dont see why you chose to write a whole page of writing about how this isnt up to par with your standards when you have nothing and have not at all contributed to this site. Egoraptor is really good at animating, its really fluid and the drawings are more than half decent, i dont think you should give him a 2 cause if he were to aplly for disney he'd get turned down , get a life. Just cause his animation got on the frontpage does not mean you should compare it to dreamworks. cause thats just silly, like that whole page, just silly that you spent that time writing it.

all this for a flash movie,men come one is his movie if he wnato to do just sticks and blurry images he is in the right,this is not an oscar work i know but its funny for someone for other of course they hate ie,its what i like about egoraptor,some love him like me i like all the works he has make,and other hate him cuz his flashes are not realistic and stuff,but come on all that essay work for a flash cartoon?men you must be really into this kind of work,but alas,chaging to the flash ,really good i loved ryu`s voice so hillarius,the same cliche ninja voice ive seen in many places really comical,to short but i like all your works really good,if you can make it a little xtend if not im happry with this,just for a very good laugh after skool

Hahahahaha

Is there a way to reply to reviewers publicly? I'd love to pick apart that last post.

You guys want me to try to cook up something for that sonic cartoon as well?

I need to find some GOOD flashes to review to add legitimacy to my low score reviews as well

[bcube]

This guys grammar is... Oh man I am sad now.

[rtil]

the replies to your review are even dumber than the cartoon itself
and that's saying something

[Thor]

I suppose this means we know what type of audience Egoraptor brings in then, huh?

:B

[rtil]

lmao even egoraptor\\\'s troll of a father (elder99) replied to your review with his review
what a weirdo
guess he has nothing better to do

and @ egoraptor\\\'s reply heh it\\\'s quite obvious he\\\'s getting bitter now. he only shows his mean side when something really gets to him. because he\\\'s usually fake and acts giddy all the time

also someone get malachy\\\'s attention - all the people replying to thor are breaking one of the holy review guidelines!

* Do not use the review field to address other user\\\'s reviews you didn\\\'t agree with. You are to be reviewing the submission, not other people\\\'s reviews.

[MRat]

also someone get malachy's attention

Shit he's not on MSN! FUCK PEOPLE FUCK!


Seriously though, this shit is a joke.

[rtil]

malachy replied again.
he just sent me a copy of the review guidelines. the only one i can possibly think he believe i broke was the "do not make personal insults" one, but "you're dragging a series and whoring it out in order to boost DVD sales" is a valid, non-personal criticism. all it means is that to me the cartoon only has commercial value and is pretty much a sellout move. if i'm not allowed to say that then i shouldn't be allowed to criticize any flash, period.

[Thor]

I think I can call this a success.

This is my favorite new one:

Mr. ThorClodofBlunders, you just need to chill ma man. I went all the way to the third page of reviews to see what was goin on man and I read your essay. Sure the artwork wasnt super duper, but what you said about body language wasnt true at all. Man, you could definately tell that the main character was kind of excited since his legs were kinda spread. And his friends seem like video game geeks *no offense, I might as well call myself one too* so thats why they were hunched over.

Also i feel that your suggestions about how his friends should be squirming, how the ninja in huge boobs should have the pan up from her long legs n stuff like that. Its all seems like crap suggestions. I found it humorous that they just stood there and i think its cool that the ninja was just like hi or whatever...

Now just as im finishing this up and i went to look back at your review, i realised that egoraptor had already owned you. Just remember man, this is all fan made stuff its not like its goin into theaters or anything *that would be really cool though (it would definately sell) so if you wanna mail a portfolio to pixar or disney or whoever that third one was (i think it was dreamworks then thats cool, but writing an essay on how someone does what they enjoy doing man.... its just mean... Thats like me drawing you a picture that I worked really hard on and you telling me how much it sucks and blows and how i will never make it as an artist.

That would hurt real bad, and it hurts me to see that there are people like you on newgrounds who spend time writing essays like these just to tell people how much their work blows when they do an awesome job especially since im planning to be a flash artist one day as well. I dont think reviews like yours deserve to be on newgrounds and i think if all your here to do is tell people how much their work suck when it doesnt then maybe you should just leave.

I think that this flash was really nice and that Egoraptor put lots of work into it. Hes a hard working dude who is my favorite flash animator. And if his work cant impress you then youd better get your ass out of here because hes submitted so much cool stuff to newgrounds that if you dont know his name then you really havent been here that long.

[rtil]

lmao i read that about halfway then had to stop

then i read the last line by mistake and i threw up

[MRat]

I swear, if NewGrounds was a real place, where I met these people face to face when they said these things, there would be so many fucking bodies.

[bcube]

"Just remember man, this is all fan made stuff its not like its goin into theaters or anything *that would be really cool though (it would definately sell)"

wow.

[trent bortknob]

i think we need to be more fair!


they have ta right to make all of the shitty sprite cartoons (or any other kind of gay cartoon) for fun as they want, as we have all made shitty cartoons for fun i would think

we shouldnt say that they SHOULDNT make sprite cartoons (how can we tell them wat 2 do??)

saying htey shouldnt make sprites or parodies is just like any NG faggot saying we shouldn't be making spam (not that many of us do anymore)

but we still have a right to complain about how gay the cartoon is

and thats where shit gets confusing

ive read numerous times where people around places like tba or the ss and have said "woah dude look at this faggot over reacting at my shitty movie i made in like 5 minutes what a fag!! wh are they making such a big deal about a cartoon????" when they read reviews for their movies that arent meant to be great

but then i see topics here and at the ss complaining abiout sprites and parodies and im wondering why anyone is making such a big deal about gay cartoons

ESPECIALLY since we cant stop anyone from making those things

but i still agree that we should all have the right to complain about how gay and tired the concepts of parodies and sprite movies are and not get our reviews deleted

fuck the system