Dumb stuff you thought as a kid

Bamyasi · August 29, 2015 12:42 AM

ITT: Post dumb stuff you thought as a kid.

Example: When I was 3-4 I thought Jesus was the Sun-Maid raisin girl.

Don't misunderstand me, I didn't think the Sun-Maid raisin mascot was supposed to be a representation of Jesus. I literally thought the Sun-Maid raisin girl was Christian god, and s/he would appear to me in hallucinations.

I think this is because I'd never been to church and the only pictures of Jesus I'd seen had a halo around his head that looked like the sun on the Sun-Maid raisin package.

Your turn.

rtil · August 29, 2015 12:58 AM

when i was around the same age, i refused to eat meat because i learned it came from killing animals. so my parents told me that ham grew on ham trees to get me to eat ham. i believed them for about 2 years. but at that point i didn't care anymore and started eating meat

valiums · August 29, 2015 01:41 AM

When I was 10ish I thought people went to Heaven or Hell based on the very last thing they said, so I would occasionally practice saying "Thank you everyone for everything." "Thank you God"" etc. as fast as I possibly could, in case I died quickly.

That's probably what I got for never paying attention in Sunday school unless the topic was Kapri Sun 1 and Fig Newtons 4:5. Snacks = Satan; Stay Hungry For Salvation!

Bamyasi · August 29, 2015 02:03 AM

When I was sick and alone in bed I would hear my heart beat really fast in my head and thought it was because there was a rabbit in my chest. I would even have fever dreams of the rabbit bursting out from my chest and hopping around the room.

Quote from: valiums on August 29, 2015 01:41 AM
When I was 10ish I thought people went to Heaven or Hell based on the very last thing they said, so I would occasionally practice saying "Thank you everyone for everything." "Thank you God"" etc. as fast as I possibly could, in case I died quickly.

That kind of reminds me of that Hirokazu Koreeda movie After Life. Cute.

Also rtil that's hilarious.

Stu4U · August 29, 2015 07:59 AM

when i was 8-9ish i had a "girlfriend" but i didn't want her to kiss me because i thought that cooties were not only real but illegal and worried that if a teacher saw us we'd get expelled/arrested

SrsSam77 · August 29, 2015 02:55 PM

When I was a kid I thought that if I was a vegetarian my whole life I could live to be 400 years old (thanks childrens bible)

I also believed that if I watched harry potter I'd become a warlock and go straight to hell (thanks radical christian church)

slack · August 29, 2015 05:07 PM

when i was a child i thought my whole life would be fun and games

Bamyasi · August 29, 2015 09:02 PM

Well I did a google and apparently I'm not the only person who believed the Sun-Maid girl was an omnipotent force.

Conspiracy? Most likely.

valiums · August 30, 2015 03:23 AM

Bamyasi · August 30, 2015 08:52 AM

I mean yeah you can see why it would be logical to worship the Sun-Maid, even if you didn't really care for raisins like me.

I also thought that if I was left in the bath too long after the stopper was pulled I would be sucked down the drain.

That was one of my biggest childhood fears, along with balloons floating away and trash blowing in the wind.

rtil · August 30, 2015 09:53 AM

she can't be god because satan took responsibility for coming up with raisins

SUN MAID IS A FALSE GOD

Bamyasi · August 30, 2015 09:13 PM

valiums · August 30, 2015 10:50 PM

[spoiler]https://youtu.be/SOi7M0RhSH8[/spoiler]

Bamyasi · August 31, 2015 12:19 AM

If god isn't real how can raisins be real.

[spoiler]I wanna kiss that face.[/spoiler]

bd648 · August 31, 2015 01:37 AM

i thought Boston was a state

salutations · September 1, 2015 08:22 PM

where do i even START

1. i really believed picking up toads gave you warts
2. i had imaginary dogs and not imaginary friends and i was really serious about it like, i would tell my mom one had run away and we had to drive around my neighborhood looking for it and when i'd see one she'd pull over and let me open the door to let my fucking imaginary dog in the car
3. the sky was blue because it was a reflection of water being blue
4. lifelong ocd hypochondriac sufferer: i had this weird thing that when i went to peoples houses i could not drink out of a bottle if it had been opened even if no one had directly drank from it, i thought too much about how if they had drank out of the glass and poured more into their cup even if the bottle didn't touch the cup that the germs were going to jump from it and transfer into the drink bottle idfk
5. i was absolutely terrified of the bermuda triangle

idk if the second one counts as 'stupid stuff you believed as a kid' cause i know a lot of kids have imaginary friends and do weird shit like set places for them at the table but i imagine when you're that into it it's not really normal either

dilly · September 1, 2015 09:30 PM

When I was little, I thought the reason why there was thunder was because angels were bowling

valiums · September 1, 2015 09:42 PM

Quote from: dilly on September 1, 2015 09:30 PM
When I was little, I thought the reason why there was thunder was because angels were bowling

Someone told me that one, too.

rtil · September 1, 2015 09:53 PM

Quote from: valiums on September 1, 2015 09:42 PM
Quote from: dilly on September 1, 2015 09:30 PM
When I was little, I thought the reason why there was thunder was because angels were bowling

Someone told me that one, too.

what a great joke to tell an impressionable child

i probably would have believed this as well

slack · September 2, 2015 01:13 AM

>implying the enochian overlords play something as trivial as BOWLING