decide my working shift

[slack]

pick one you assholes my livelihood depends on it

keep in mind i work for fedex and also keep in mind what time of year it is (i work harder in a day than you do in a week (spineless losers))

[Necronomitr0n]

night shift baby

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

12 am: wake up, time for breakfast. pork cylinders.

12:30 am: grope ballsack while singing "We Can Do It" from the Producers

1 am: time for lunch dinner and a second breakfast

1 30 am: vomit it all back up and return to bed

6 am: massage eyes with shattered glass

7 am: urinate on nearest neighborhood pet

7:30 am: grope aforementioned pet while singing "We Can Do It" from the Producers

8 am: mix marinara sauce, ky jelly, and peanut butter. generously lubricate butthole with substance

8:30 am: bend over backwards and massage substance out from buttcrack into mouth.

8:45 am: return to bed

1 pm: wake up. brush teeth with a butter knife covered in windex

1:30 pm: roll in mud

2 pm: time to watch marathon of Fernwood Tonight

5 pm: place face directly on floor and use legs to slide-propel self to nearest pharmacy

5:30 pm: buy every box of flintstones vitamins

6 pm: using a moistened Q-tip roughly insert every vitamin directly into ear canal. do not cease if blood appears.

7 pm: download TOR and print out as much illegal material from the deepweb as you can

7:30 pm: tape all the printings to your body

8 pm: its a beautiful day, why aren't you outside? Go and run through the town

11 pm: grope balls in town while singing "We Can Do It" from the Producers. If anyone complains tell them Max Bialystock will fuck them in the nosehole

11:30 pm: run home and go to bed but not before applying more of the marinara mixture to the anal crevice

[valiums]

I find even the thought of work unbearable. Masters and workers both are peasants. There's no difference between a hand holding a pen and a hand pushing a plow. An age of hands!- I'll have no part in it.
Bad Blood, Arthur Rimbaud (A Season in Hell, 1873)

[slack]

also why the fuck can't i see my own poll results without having to vote

what kind of shit is this

fix it rtil

[rtil]

isn't there a view results button or something?

[slack]

isn't there a view results button or something?

yeah there is but it didn't seem to work

i had to vote to see the results

[rtil]

oops, i broke it

[slack]

wtf rude