I need backup!(Starting up my comic, dammit)

[harrison2142]

Evening gentlemen,

I know I don't post here all that often, but you all look like a fair amount of intelligent people and I figured you could help me out with a little big really annoying issue I've been having with starting up a comic project that has been running around in my head for the past two or so years. Now, be warned, this is probably going to be a pretty lengthy read, but I figured all you writers out there might get a good kick out of this, so here it goes:

First off, here is some of the art I've done already(kind of moot by this point, but it might help get some points across better): http://www.thebackalleys.com/forum/index.php?topic=11606.0

The comic is called "Grim Co." and it is set in a sci-fi universe in which there are no government run security forces or armies, everything is done through private corporations. From firefighters, to police forces, there are private forces dedicated to different jobs throughout the universe. Grim Co. is a relatively new company to the world in the from of a very offensive assasin/kill stuff-type of corporation, as their name implies it is their employees' job as "grim reapers"(or just "reapers" for short) to eliminate targets based on whatever their contractor wants. Not all of these people are "bad", reapers can be hired by anyone for any amount of money to kill whoever the paying customer wants dead, it is just a matter of the Reaper accepting the job and some of the pay going to the company, and some to the actual individual(s) who carried out the hard labor.

In terms of the "style" of the future, it would be very Cowboy Bebop-esque, lots of modern technology intertwined with futuristic looks spacecraft and vehicles, but nothing too far out there or crazy, for the most part things would be very much grounded in 'reality' with only a few special cases of "oh, its the future so this is totally OK" popping up here and there for particular set-piece events.

Now then, now that all that boring stuff is over, on to the characters! There are 3 main characters that the story revolves around.


First off is the character "Dravis". Dravis has been a part of the company for practically his entire life, after being raised by his father in the work environment. He is incredibly blunt and rude, caring very little for the well-being of others, or even for himself in some cases. He thrives in the chaos of firefights and enjoys toying around with his enemies, is known for causing general collateral damage, but gets the job done. Sort of a mix of Alucard from Hellsing with Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star, very aggressive, a tad bit obnoxious, but he generally just doesn't give a damn. He is in his early 30's.


Next up is "Snow White". Snow is a fist-fighting vigilante until she gets hired by Dravis to help train Red(who I'll talk about in just a bit). Snow is generally quiet, but not exactly soft-spoken. She is blind in her right eye, hence the hair covering it(This is a plot point i plan on bringing up in the future, but as of right now there is no need to go into it). She believes in tough justice, she prefers downright brawling over other forms of combat(Read: she beats the crap out of people with baseball bats and brass knuckles and such). She is confident in herself but isn't cocky, and also is known for bouts of sarcasm(but never as much as Dravis...) and she is careful, conservative, and more polite than Dravis is in conversation. She is in her mid to late 20's.


Lastly, the "real" main character is "Red"(By the way, now might be a good time to mention that when joining Grim co., you don't go by your real name, you choose a new name and all sort of financial work is carried out and handled by the company itself, its financially self-sustaining, so no separate banks or stuff like that.). Red is comparable to characters such as Seras Victoria from Hellsing, and Naoto from Persona 4, she starts off in a sort of bewildered state, not really sure how to handle the situations she is placed in but ultimately rising to accept what she has become. The twist here, is that she turns around in the end and begins to question what she has done by entering the world of the reapers, and was it the right decision? She is 20.


Now then, on to the nitty-gritty and why I'm having such a damn hard time getting this bastard going. A few plot points that are important here: Dravis and Red's father,"Baron", used to work together as partners, until Baron betrayed Dravis for some unspecified reason(the details for this are up in the air right now, but they can be addressed later) and almost killed him. Baron went on to help initiate an invasion of the main system with the "Pirates", who generally stick to the far planets of the system, but end up commencing a massive army-style assault on planets, killing a hella-ton of people and stealing a metric crap-ton of stuff. The pirates eventually retreat back into the far reaches of space after the companies join together to kick their asses, Dravis and Baron beat the crap out of each other and both get out in very much near-death situations.(This whole shibang would be detailed in a prequel, but you guys need to know it for the story arc I'm working on now.) Also, Red is Baron's daughter, this is meant to be understood before any sort of 'final battle' type of thing, so it ISN'T a "OH, HE IS YOUR FATHER, DUN DUN DUUN" thing at all.

Ok, whew, still with me? Cool. Some 15 years or so later after the pirate invasion, Red joins the reapers, and here lies my problem. Why? Through what way? What are her intentions? Does SHE know that Baron, a guy who royally F-ed Dravis over, is her father from the get-go? Should she join with the goal of finding and/or killing her father? Should she join in trying to just meet the man? Ultimately, she joins forces with Dravis, and later on Snow, to do various jobs that really don't matter right now, in the end she meets her father alongside Dravis as the Pirates enter the system for a second massive invasion(In my head there are 4 or more 'books', so there would be lots of character development going on here with Red becoming adjusted to the violent and disturbing world of the reapers, she ends up looking up to Dravis as a father figure as he becomes less of an ass and more of a 'human', while Snow realizes that fighting isn't the answer to everything and tries to rekindle the feelings of love that she has been hiding away for however many years and fun crap like that.)

tl;dr: Some chick joins a corporation of assassins, her boss, Dravis, is an asshole. Her dad and Dravis got in a big fight once as a gigantic war between some mutha-fukn pirates and everyone else broke out, but Dravis and her dear papa haven't seen each other in 15 or so years, they still want to kill each other. Should she know that her father betrayed Dravis? Should she know that her father was a reaper? If she does, is she looking to find him for some sort of revenge(something involving her mother maybe?)? Or does she join just to meet the bastard?

BAH!

[dinky-dau]

Since your main problem is the main character's motivation, you should definitely think in terms of what would make her the most interesting. You specified that her character arc is meant to end in regret over joining the Reapers, so possibly give her a motivation she can feel regretful about accomplishing after she gets it? Like maybe her end goal is something related to improving her quality of life, or feeling that joining the Reapers is necessary to survival? Maybe she's actually petty deep down, and only wants to join in order to kill certain people and get away with it? Just whatever gives better chemistry with the cast you have now, and accomplishes the final message a reader is meant to take from your comic - that's the really important thing.

[Gladius]

"grim reapers"(or just "reapers" for short)

No. This is so done to death you might as well just call them assassins or killers.

[harrison2142]

"grim reapers"(or just "reapers" for short)

No. This is so done to death you might as well just call them assassins or killers.

Hey, done to death...heh....GET IT? And calling them assassins/killers just sounds so much better, doesn't it? How silly of me to think up such mundane concepts!

[SHADOWFOX2]

Snow is my favorite character

[harrison2142]

Glad you like her!

[SHADOWFOX2]

I'd go with wanting to meet the Dad by becoming a reaper like him but then regretting not finding another way to do so as time passes.
It doesn't seem like she's a bad person ('CAUSE OF THAT CUTE WIDDLE SMILE) so I don't think she'd join the reapers simply to get away with killing folks
My opinion is right, everyone else's opinion is wrong.

[Gladius]

"grim reapers"(or just "reapers" for short)

No. This is so done to death you might as well just call them assassins or killers.

Hey, done to death...heh....GET IT? And calling them assassins/killers just sounds so much better, doesn't it? How silly of me to think up such mundane concepts!

well all of them are mundane but you might as well choose one that sounds more military and not so favored by teenagers

but idc man it's your comic do what you want