my first cartoon

Alta Don · November 2, 2011 12:51 AM

I havent been making beats cause Im working on my very first flash cartoon that Im actually proud of. Im making one cause I need at least one cartoon thats clever, well out drawn & satisfying for my college portfolio. So far, the basics are done. Please criticize & give me some suggestions.

http://www.thebackalleys.com/dump/files/1029/194Kx0_fartjoke.swf

salutations · November 2, 2011 01:07 AM

criticism: make the fart poof green

rtil · November 3, 2011 07:42 AM

you don't need the "aw, crap" at the end. UNLESS ....... unless.. you are going to do something different with it, like maybe a short pause and then he's like FUUUUUUU- and it just cuts off and the credits roll. otherwise i'd just cut it, cuz him taking the headphones off is all we need to see.

redmongoose · November 3, 2011 08:13 AM

thats pretty damn funny

ZennyPLUS · November 3, 2011 08:19 AM

Agreed with rtil, it's still damn funny.

Alta Don · November 3, 2011 07:09 PM

Quote from: rtil on November 3, 2011 07:42 AM
you don't need the "aw, crap" at the end. UNLESS ....... unless.. you are going to do something different with it, like maybe a short pause and then he's like FUUUUUUU- and it just cuts off and the credits roll. otherwise i'd just cut it, cuz him taking the headphones off is all we need to see.

i feel ya. It kinda drags it on. However i do like your short pause idea

GhostingFish · November 3, 2011 08:17 PM

this is swell man

dilly · November 4, 2011 01:20 AM

i really like it! can't wait to see more

Philip K Dick · November 4, 2011 06:46 PM

who did the song

Alta Don · November 4, 2011 07:26 PM

Quote from: Hey guys, look! I'm finally a parkour master! on November 4, 2011 06:46 PM
who did the song

i did
http://soundcloud.com/snot-boogie/bones

rtil · November 4, 2011 11:52 PM

time to test the new embed code

[swf]http://www.thebackalleys.com/dump/files/1029/194Kx0_fartjoke.swf[/swf]

psi43 · November 6, 2011 12:45 AM

it's neat and funny but do you really want a cartoon about farting in your portfolio you'll use to apply to colleges?

rtil · November 6, 2011 01:42 AM

Quote from: psi on November 6, 2011 12:45 AM
it's neat and funny but do you really want a cartoon about farting in your portfolio you'll use to apply to colleges?

probably not the best idea but it's better than what most people submit, which is usually fanart

Alta Don · November 6, 2011 03:45 AM

Quote from: psi on November 6, 2011 12:45 AM
it's neat and funny but do you really want a cartoon about farting in your portfolio you'll use to apply to colleges?

i get what you mean but im not making some mind-blowing cartoon for my portfolio. Just a silly average cartoon with a funny twist. I know toilet humor can be strange for a college professor to see but professors wanna see how the animation is, how i can tell a story through it & impress them. Its alot more creative and original instead of fan tributes and that shit.

Alta Don · November 21, 2011 02:36 AM

im still working hard on this cartoon. heres a screenshot & also theres something i sneaked into it

hint: protect ya neck

rtil · November 21, 2011 04:59 AM

i don't get it

Sinitron · November 21, 2011 09:58 AM

shitty color choices

Alta Don · November 27, 2011 07:56 PM

cartoon is done. hope you enjoy and vote 5

What to Do.. What to Do..

rtil · November 27, 2011 10:44 PM

hah ya the ending is better with the cut i think , you could have even cut off most of the 'fuck' at the f part but it's just a few frames.

the zooming in on the eyebrows when he decide what to do is a little strange, but other than that it's good for a first cartoon.

any reason why you decided to use real backgrounds besides to save time?

redmongoose · November 27, 2011 11:02 PM

5d, liked on facebook and threw you a piza point