thread of thirst

[Unless]

Hi

It's Valentine's day night and I have alcohol and incense and the late-night b-movie horror channel so I have all the company I need and basically fuck my ex but not literally

I want to know people's full and properly spelled [real] first names so that I can run Allie's love calculator properly please
so could everybody who sees this (whenever they have the time) please send me their name in a PM and/or reply here and/or disregard me as an idiot just generally

and though I will have fun with that, I in actual fact am looking for the name of one member specifically, but do not wish to call them out because then it would be awkward and I'm sure nobody wants that
also I really want to know if and honestly bet that you're so vain as to think that this thread is about you

Bamyasi, you are absolutely not the reason i created this thread but are probably my sloppy seconds within the context of this forum and I would like you to know that if we were friends IRL, and were I this drunk, I'd probably kiss you if you were down for that but that's about it thanks

I very deliberately posted this in the Entertainment section and am actively playing this up a notch or two, because the best sort of fun is that of at somebody's expense, particularly when the body in question is apparently unbeknownstly playing into the hands of (racial) stereotypes.  ((I am Irish.))
I specifically proof-read the last sentences an extra number of times in order to get it picture-perfect and play the whole thing down a notch or two.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

i've set this thread as NSFW, in case anybody should feel like posting their names in the thread, but don't want it on absolute public display

hello

I'm going to just post this now before I over-think it any further

[slack]

Ok, I'll play.

[d-floe]

Lets go ice skating

[Bamyasi]

Lets go ice skating

[Dust]

Lets go ice skating

Teach me how to ice skate.

[Unless]

I went ice skating thrice

it was a lot of fun and had absolutely nothing to do with this thread

[Bamyasi]

Our first date will be at the rink this Friday, d-don't be late!

[Unless]

I feel like you actively glazed over the point of this thread, but okay
let's just both go skating on the same day and I'll accidentally lose control and fall into you so you catch me in your arms and I'll apologise and blush and we'll work it out from there

[Dust]

I thought the idea behind using our first names was so the calculator feels more "legit".

[Unless]

yes

[crackers]

name: Buckminsterfullerene ("Bucky Ball"
bae: you're in the wrong format
barber: you're in the wrong format
me: say no more fam, come over

[Bamyasi]

Just try to keep up.

[d-floe]

>Bamyasi
>Revealing super ultra secret identity
Please

[slack]

i always envisioned bam as kizu's avatar kinda

[crackers]

Bamyasi is Aziz, @ RepTILe told me so I passing it on to you all . wake up sheeple. you only think waht the shepherd wants. free your mind.

[Unless]

[slack]

wow what a fucking baby

[Unless]

I bet my dad could beat up your dad.

[slack]

maybe, my dad handles wild animals for a living

he once caught an alligator

[Bamyasi]

>Bamyasi
>Revealing super ultra secret identity
Please

I already sent Unless my powerword which means I trust her more that you guys so uhh yeah get rekt.