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Messages - xezlec

#1
General / A nofficia lapology
July 12, 2009 03:03 AM
Alright, so I've become widely and universally known as such a violent, genocidal, white-supremacist pedophile with an offensive odor that I clearly make Adolf Hitler look like Bugs Bunny with cute puppy sauce, and all in under 1 post!

My bad.

I've decided I should probably write an apology so that I can go back to being as vibrant a poster as I once was.  So here goes.  I am sorry.  I am filth.  I am vermin.  I am the vomit of Amy Winehouse after consuming the feces of a thousand Takeru Kobayashis.  I am very nearly one percent of Rush Limbaugh.

I don't know that I will ever regain my former anonymity and nonexistence, but I can only try, and pray to the gods that they will show no mercy upon me and will obliterate my tormented, overpriced, user-friendly soul like an iPhone in a "Will It Blend?" TV spot.

First, to Rtil, I apologize for watching the "Move Your Feet" video so many times that I stretched the tape all out, ruining it for everyone after me.  Second, I apologize to Lalios, for jumping on the bandwagon and having fun at his expense even though he seems like a legit dude (though naive and unwise in the ways of the web -- I mean seriously -- an APOLOGY?  On a WEB FORUM?  No no no no no no no -- you're not getting this -- you're supposed to come in and slap your wang around like you own the place -- regret only shows weakness, and the scent of blood will only draw the sharks of perdition -- or something).  Thirdly, I apologize to everyone else on this forum, for the previous sentence and its contextually inappropriate semi-serious tone and accompanying near-total lack of humor.  Fourthly, I apologize for the previous sentence........... And finally, I apologize to everyone in the world, for collapsing the quantum wavefunction they spent so long constructing.

Hmm... I may be infamous again now... better write an apology...