>So, it's another Friday night, midnight to be precise. I am browsing the Backalleys, when I hear a sharp, crisp sound that cuts through the air
>"Here you are, special delivery, pizza: No onions"
>Reaching into my pockets to pay the delivery man at the door, he guarantees me I do not need to pay. His voice is thick and Scottish
>Eventually, after rummaging, I look up, about to shrug my shoulders and make my excuses. The man is gone
>Keeping my wits about me, I pick up the pizza box. Eating alone hurts now, now my beloved Stella is gone
>I eat the pizza, it is aggressive
>Seven months later, I am back with my girl
>Letting myself into the house, I discover there is a note, how cute!
>"Oven is on, make dinner yourself, I left ingredients for you! Love S."
>Very strange, my girlfriend never lets me cum, let alone cook for her
>Exhausted, I finally finish preparing dinner
>Someone at the door
>"Here, what the fuck do you want at this time of night?"
>"...Really, laddeh? After all this time, is that all you've got ta say?"
>Even in my wildest dreams I could not imagine, my idol, my dad, it's Shrek!
>"Klear the table, laddeh, time to make onions: Have Shrex"
>I submit.
>Steeling myself against his powerful ogre cock, I find myself in a state of pure delight: Stockholm syndrome, except without the kidnap
>"Lie down, and I'll Shrock your holm lad(;"
>I'm exhausted, I can't move. I can't even fight back, and find myself slipping out of consciousness. I awaken to find myself sweating
>"Fuck! I'm in the oven!" Struggling to get free, I finally understand the situation: The recipe I'd been left wasn't just any old dish
>"Ends like this, huh?" I laugh, reading the first letter of every line.
send this to 7 friends before 12ocock tomorrow or shrek will cook you
easy for you to say, you're not stuck in a fucking oven
get shreked
Shrek is not DRECK
Wait, I just realized you made this. Color me virtually impressed.
Quote from: Holsterbau on May 2, 2014 08:16 PM
Shrek is not DRECK
Was that the video that started this whole thing? Five times I've thought we were over Shrek and five times I've been wrong.
it's never ogre :wile: