Let me know what you think and review if you can:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/568762 (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/568762)
pico day already
the animation was kinda sloppy, seem rushed. there wasn't much of a payoff in terms of an ending either.
Hmm, I wouldnt go as far as saying that it was sloppy. I gave myself enough time to create what I believe was the most exagerated formula for this script. Some moments are on twos, and it's a given it was to save time, but at the same time, I still wouldnt change them. If I could have made it longer though I would have.
Quote from: KingDavidHmm, I wouldnt go as far as saying that it was sloppy.
I would.
Haha. Well I like to revolve around magic when animating which is why I insist on not animating everything on 1s.Its my movie its my style buddy
I think it went all too fast and in the end made little-to-no sense. The crayon drawing background in the intro was distracting and ugly and I think a drawing of the background straight into Flash would have looked cleaner and nicer as it pans by. Actually the drawn in flash background was pretty bad too because you put no thought into the colors or shading...for example there are pink panel sidewalk parts mixed with grey and yellow?? Gag! And the clouds are a gross gradient that don't add anything to them except making them look amateurish and ugly. The pico character was done with a lot of short cuts and loops and the way he slides into the scene to the sidewalk with a looping open and closing mouth was both lazy and cheapened the effect that this is even a real character...he came off as a composed puppet twitching and jerking. At first I totally didn't understand he glued a penny to the street haha, I thought he applied lotion to his hand then did a flip off screen :T But then as the kid walked in, I noticed the tiny orange spot and had to kind of just assume it was money or something. The kid's walk was done nicely enough although it's just a sliding movie clip. The moments are all very stiff though and that's because you cut only parts of the body from a stock pose and moved what had to move like a single arm or head instead of actually drawing his whole self reacting and moving as a unit and not just chunks. In the end, I didn't really get the joke either...so pico owned an ice cream truck and drove by and then the kid was mad?? I mean how would pico even know the kid would use the penny for ice cream?? And why did the penny disappear when he drove over it? And he flipped off the kid for some reason? Idk it was not paced out well and could have used better planning to give the audience more guidance as to what is going on. Oh well keep trying, but I recommend more animation of the whole body and not just parts that twitch, and better coloring, and looking at colors to help make the cartoon look solid and clean...not everywhere and random. Good luck :]
Quote from: KingDavidHaha. Well I like to revolve around magic when animating which is why I insist on not animating everything on 1s.Its my movie its my style buddy
EDIT: originally i said "don't ask for criticism if you don't want it,
buddy" but then i read the part i bolded and i realized i can't actually take you seriously so instead i'm just going to say lmao
i don't get it... ...............................
I liked it I think youre all being a bit too gay on this one
it went by too quickly
you need to time it out, its the most important part of animation mann
Quote from: Sapphirei don't get it... ...............................
Quote from: KingDavidHaha. Well I like to revolve around magic when animating which is why I insist on not animating everything on 1s.Its my movie its my style buddy
do you live in a doghouse?
it sucked also stop doing drugs faggot WTF
Hahaha. I can take critisizm believe me i aintloosingsleep to any of your comments. But this is a soloproject of mineand I wanted to make it exactly howI envisioned it. It's suppose to be trippy and fast because thatshow I would like to see it and ultimatley its mymovie no one elses! and to the guy who said lay off the drugs - believe me homie ive cut back, animating trippy shit like this is what gets me high nowadays
EDIT
thanks for the comments i actually apreciate them, im not trying to sound like im being ignorantif thatshow im comming off.
and BTW that "crayon drawing" was a photoshopped background that i painted the outline first scanned and editedand colored in PS and took me a godamwhole week to do !!!!!!!!
well you smell like you live in a doghouse
buddy my house is huge and awesome
well what the fuck do i know anyway
haha o tht wacky pico i think ill buy a shirt
lolol
falling back on excuses for reasons why your cartoon looked the way it did doesn't change the fact that it failed to have the effect you intended on the viewers. just because you want to make a "trippy" cartoon doesn't mean you get to throw away the principles of animation. you should always be keeping them in mind no matter what you're animating. in fact, for something "trippy", you could take the principle of squash and stretch and take it to the ultimate extreme.
but instead your finished product is choppy and stiff, hardly trippy if you ask me. i'm not trying to be mean, i'm just saying what's on my mind when i watch it. i think you should go back to the basics of character design, anatomy, colors and animation before making a full length cartoon again. without the foundations, you're never going to make a successful end product.
Quote from: rtil catfalling back on excuses for reasons why your cartoon looked the way it did doesn't change the fact that it failed to have the effect you intended on the viewers. just because you want to make a "trippy" cartoon doesn't mean you get to throw away the principles of animation. you should always be keeping them in mind no matter what you're animating. in fact, for something "trippy", you could take the principle of squash and stretch and take it to the ultimate extreme.
but instead your finished product is choppy and stiff, hardly trippy if you ask me. i'm not trying to be mean, i'm just saying what's on my mind when i watch it. i think you should go back to the basics of character design, anatomy, colors and animation before making a full length cartoon again. without the foundations, you're never going to make a successful end product.
Dont listen to this...People just don't "get" you David
can someone please explain to me what the fuck "revolve around magic" means
Quote from: meowthcan someone please explain to me what the fuck "revolve around magic" means
KingDavid: animation magician extraordinaire.
Quote from: W.A.S.I.M.pico day already
i agree with wasim on this one
I didn't think it was all that bad
I'm not an animation expert but now that I've watched it three times to make sure of what I saw I think I can say a few things
I took it as a regular cartoon skit with not much to look deep into
First off I didn't see the relation between the background on the title sequence and the rest of the cartoon
I didn't really understand what was going on until the ice-cream thought bubble popped up and he tried to pick up the penny
Everything pulled together after that
I had to watch it a second time because I was told there would be tripping somewhere...
Pico's got some kinda tween groove swag on him
I've gotta try to gain Pico's physics some day
A kid thinking a penny was just enough to get him ice-cream wasn't too distracting
It may not have been extremely detailed and animation accurate, but you got the message across to me and apparently that's all I need. +5 for Sonic
ROFL !!! This thread is hilarious !
@ RTIL: Dude man, I goto animation school I study these fundamentals everyday, half of this was actually a school assignment ( I added Pico in after) and I received TOP GRADES FOR IT. This has a lot of squash and squish in it and is bursting at the seems with animation fundamentals, I don't understand how you can't see that tbh.
@MEOW: Well, in the animators survival guide, richard williams stresses the use of "magic" in animation. For example some technical "magic" here, is when Pico's mouth goes from wide open to shut and looks comprehend able. Also, when my brown haired character picks up the penny, you dont see his right arm, untll it's fully emerged from his torso and MOST people don't notice and ENJOY this magical sensation.
Where is the magic in animating everything exactly how you can see it, instead of using magic forcing your eyes to experience the ILLUSION OF ANIMATION? That's all I wanna know man ... WHERE IS THE MAGIC !?!?!?!??!?!?! >:DHAHAH.....
@COOLDR: Thanks buddy ! You know how it is hahah
@W.A.S.I.M: LMAO !! your posts crack me up XD
and thanks shadowcat!
the timing was bad
the animation and drawing was mediocre
you're being a patronizing asshole by assuming none of us know what the fundamentals of animation are
if you got good marks on this, you're going to a shitty animation school
and dats all i gots to say about dat
Quote from: KingDavid@ RTIL: Dude man, I goto animation school I study these fundamentals everyday, half of this was actually a school assignment ( I added Pico in after) and I received TOP GRADES FOR IT. This has a lot of squash and squish in it and is bursting at the seems with animation fundamentals, I don't understand how you can't see that tbh.
well whatever animation school you are going to they either have extremely low standards or your teacher is a bad animator, feels sorry for you or is handing out easy A's, because that cartoon would have gotten you a failing grade at the animation program i went to. and even at the end of the day, your employers will not care what grades you got, they will care about your portfolio. and this cartoon is definitely not anything close to portfolio material.
just because you know what the fundamentals of animation are and study them every day, doesn't mean you're good at them. it's more than knowing, it's having the ability to apply them. i'm just telling you right now - your drawing, coloring and animation skills are very weak. your teachers might pat you on the back for this stuff, but they're not doing you a favor.
you will never survive in the industry with material like this.
you can either accept this fact and work hard on improving, or continue to lie to yourself and end up behind a cash register for the rest of your life. your choice.
and for the record, it's called "squash and stretch", not "squash and squish".
Quote from: DrRuCatthe timing was bad
the animation and drawing was mediocre
you're being a patronizing asshole by assuming none of us know what the fundamentals of animation are
if you got good marks on this, you're going to a shitty animation school
and dats all i gots to say about dat
Yeah my teachers would have been like wtf is this shit
Quote from: rtil catjust because you know what the fundamentals of animation are and study them every day, doesn't mean you're good at them. it's more than knowing, it's having the ability to apply them. i'm just telling you right now - your drawing, coloring and animation skills are very weak. your teachers might pat you on the back for this stuff, but they're not doing you a favor. you will never survive in the industry with material like this.
Well he could prolly animate for Problem Solverz??
Well all I can do is work harder next time around ^^ I like this movie for what it is. its suppose to be simple and fun, and I wouldnt change this for the world. Is it my best work ??? Fuck no. and anyone calling my animation school bad is stupid. Im only 18 guys, I have plenty of time in my career to make perfectly smooth proffesional work, but as I grow older I have less and less chances to make fun magical projects like this :'( TBH, this is probably one the last pieces of entertainment I will produce like this. So those who enjoyed this should charish it, and those who didn't well i'll prove you guys wrong. and THAT's a garentee;)
EDIT and for people who think I dont have an oppurtinity in the industry, when my demo reelwas shown to industry people at my school ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVzCXYd5xc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVzCXYd5xc) ) they said it was impressive and were definitly going to be contacting me next year when i graduate for job oppurtinites ^^
Quote from: KingDavidWell all I can do is work harder next time around ^^ I like this movie for what it is. its suppose to be simple and fun, and I wouldnt change this for the world. Is it my best work ??? Fuck no. and anyone calling my animation school bad is stupid. Im only 18 guys, I have plenty of time in my career to make perfectly smooth proffesional work, but as I grow older I have less and less chances to make fun magical projects like this :'( TBH, this is probably one the last pieces of entertainment I will produce like this. So those who enjoyed this should charish it, and those who didn't well i'll prove you guys wrong. and THAT's a garentee;)
EDIT and for people who think I dont have an oppurtinity in the industry, when my demo reelwas shown to industry people at my school ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVzCXYd5xc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVzCXYd5xc) ) they said it was impressive and were definitly going to be contacting me next year when i graduate for job oppurtinites ^^
What school do you go to?
why do you even make a thread asking for criticism if you were planning to make excuses for why your movie was bad?
Quote from: KingDavidEDIT and for people who think I dont have an oppurtinity in the industry, when my demo reelwas shown to industry people at my school ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVzCXYd5xc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVzCXYd5xc) ) they said it was impressive and were definitly going to be contacting me next year when i graduate for job oppurtinites ^^
saying and doing are two different things.. but there was some better stuff in there. your traditional animation is certainly much better. your keys and model consistency are there. but your timing is really bad. your characters roboticly move from one key to the next. people don't move like that, and that's where "slow in, slow out" comes in. even doing something as simple as moving the keys you currently have around to match more smooth timing would improve these animations.
So I just youtubed problem solvers...
animation is dead.
After watching this, my first reaction was: "Yeah. Okay."
As a whole, this was too short to be memorable. I want to give feedback on how a bunch of things bugged me, like how the straining to pick up the coin didn't have enough force behind it and how the speed of the punch to the face looked too slow and off to make the impact "work", but... Yeah. This thread.
Isn't being able to take criticism different from dismissing it...?
I'm not an animation major, but I've met my fair share of industry professionals in animation who've told me that they love working with people who have room to grow and are willing to do so. As in, your works may not be super-prodigy-Disney quality like the next artist's portfolio, but you have a chance of making it in the biz as long as you make the most of your potential instead of growing stagnant with complacency.
You got a lot of useful feedback in this thread, so do apply it for the next animation!
=P Who knows. If you do it awesome enough, it'll be easier for your audience to enjoy your next animation as much as you do.
Quote from: KingDavidIm only 18 guys
worst excuse ever
i made better shit than this when i was 16 so yeah age doesn't mean crap
I goto NSCC truro. No it's not the absolute best but it'll get me a job in the industry (fingers cross lol). And I do appreciate the criticism. I thought I executed the penny punch nicely IMO, but I can see a different route I could have taken for the penny pull. I made the action realistic for the character, and I could have squashed and squished him more,but I find the way I choose to go created a nice sense of flow, but it could possibly have been better if i exaggerated the squash and stretch=P Also you are right about it being to short for sure ! I did not have time to really give this movie the ending I wanted like RTIL said. I'm actually going to probably re release this with this ending * after the truck drivesoff you see buddy walking away angrily and he sees the penny- and figures fuck it mightazwell take it now, then it cuts to pico driving in his truck and hepresses a button, it then shows the kid getting blown to bits, and a mushroom cloud through pico's rearview and he goes
"What!? You never heard of penny bomb before !?!?!" :P
and RTIL yea I know about slow in / out and I really didn't have enough stuff like that on that reel. Gonna def apply it better to future anims along with more exaggerated squash and squish with better character models.^^
The industry has awful standards these days, but this was below even that. It's ugly, unappealing and not fun to watch. I'm pretty sure you can do better than this. You SHOULD be able to do better than this, because you're not as god-awful and shitty at every fucking thing you do like Gerkinman is, but you have the same backwards retarded WELL SOMEBODY ELSE WHO GIVES ME MONEY SAID IT WAS GOOD SO THEREFORE IT IS bullshit, except you're paying money instead of receiving so it is far more dubious.
If somebody gives a hooker money to suck their dick, she's going to tell them their sweaty ballsack tastes like strawberries whether it does or not. She doesn't give a shit, it's just another out of a thousand.
word bro im sure ill be making toons youll like by me soon ^^