It was late last night, probably around 9:00pm, and he was standing outside on his back porch smoking a joint, all casually. He's in his 30's and is single and has no kids.
I walked over and said "EXCUSE me sir, but I would prefer that you not smoke illegal substances in the vicinity of my home". He looked all surprised and said "Well, its a decriminalized substance and I am standing on my own private property"
This infuriated me to no end, and I said "Oh yeah? Well lets see what the police have to say about your little 'habit'"
He says "Uh, I really don't think thats necessary. I'm sorry if the smell bothers you, I'll keep that in mind and respect your personal space"
I tell him "You know what? You're right. Lets not get the police involved. We're going to settle this my way. Then I furnished my bare fist, equipped with brass knuckles, and gave him a left hook right in the mouth, knocking the joint from his lips. He fell to the ground like a fucking pussy and I took out my switchblade and held it right to his neck. Then I whispered "You feel me, bro?" and sliced his neck just enough for it to ooze a few drops of blood. I stood up and planted my foot firmly on his chest. He was literally crying like a fucking pussy so I said "I guess drugs don't make you cool after all" and stomped his ribcage.
Needless to say my big problem was solved with a little "street justice".
is this real???
did he die??
jayce the creator
Quote from: nonzopjayce the creator
I thought it was "Ace, the Creator". Oh and that was a nice story, CDM.
bless you
he sure wont be Smoking Weed Every Day after being shown whats what
cdm the vigilante
Quote from: New_UserQuote from: nonzopjayce the creator
I thought it was "Ace, the Creator". Oh and that was a nice story, CDM.
yeah but its j-seed the joke here is x
also u show him cdm
Quote from: nonzopQuote from: New_UserQuote from: nonzopjayce the creator
I thought it was "Ace, the Creator". Oh and that was a nice story, CDM.
yeah but its j-seed the joke here is x
Oh
another monster removed from society
is this your father cdm
http://www.facebook.com/#!/Cool.Doctor1 (http://www.facebook.com/#!/Cool.Doctor1)
you both inspire me
Rhat Jerk Got What Was Coming!
you feel me, bro?
very good thread
I don't get it.
Quote from: CVGI don't get it.
It's called justice
frontier justice
So I walked out on the porch, and could smell weed, and then I realised it was me.
so one time i stood on my neighbor and sliced his throat.
it was a lovely evening
i say good afternoon
they say good afternoon
it's a lovely afternoon
Next time Mr. Neighbor decides to light up he'll think twice or else he will be dealing with (https://thebackalleys.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thebackalleys.com%2Fforum%2Fuploads%2Fav-309.jpg&hash=f950b9f815b6c005c59802f948f28243cced0b92) One To Many times
who doesn't smoke weed
you're about to feel me
bro
hey cool doobie money
lets go in the school bathrooms and smoke some mad pot weed
Quote from: Blordowwho doesn't smoke weed
<---
i'm not anti-pot or anything though, in fact i'm all for its legalization and vote for pro-marijuana stuff all the time
i've just never been offered it and never been interested
pot is a waste of valuable time. don't do it unless you honest-to-god have nothing at all to do for a long time.
i do support the legalization because it would make more jobs and competition in businesses by allowing harvest of hemp for paper/rope products, and giving larger harvesting companies and paper mills a reason to lower prices and run their businesses more efficiently.
pot heads are the general by-product, and i think thats a general personal responsibility, like tobacco and alcohol.
Quote from: rtilQuote from: Blordowwho doesn't smoke weed
i've just never been offered it
;:-\ 4 real??
Quote from: nonzopQuote from: rtilQuote from: Blordowwho doesn\\\'t smoke weed
i\\\'ve just never been offered it
;:-\ 4 real??
yeah for real. i can think of a few reasons why, mostly that from 7th to 12th grade i went to a private "christian" school. there were still pot smokers there, they were just less of them and they pretended they weren\\\'t. and then in uni the parties sucked so i never really went to any
i was offered a cigarette once, but fuck that
also why do you still type like an ss reject
I don't really like the idea of using my brain for recreation.
haha ^
i only really like smoking weed on my own, i feel it gets those creative juices flowing.
if i smoke up at a party or something i sometimes get paranoid and find myself really fidgety (need to be doing something productive) but most the time i don't really care though if i am baked haha, i sorta just go with the flow!
SORRY DRMONEY FOR BRAGGIN ABOUT WEED WHATCHU GONNA DO BOUT IT PUNK?
DOUBLE POST FUCK
Quote from: BlordowDOUBLE POST FUCK
Why should I do anything? Youve already embarrassed yourself
Take a hint and get a CLUE chump!
i do it cuz its fun and its really easy to find and relatively cheap where i live, id rather smoke pot than drink or smoke cigs, fuck cigs
I see no point. Prove me wrong.
Quote from: CipherI see no point. Prove me wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c
Quote from: rtilQuote from: nonzopQuote from: rtilQuote from: Blordowwho doesn\\\'t smoke weed
i\\\'ve just never been offered it
;:-\ 4 real??
yeah for real. i can think of a few reasons why, mostly that from 7th to 12th grade i went to a private "christian" school. there were still pot smokers there, they were just less of them and they pretended they weren\\\'t. and then in uni the parties sucked so i never really went to any
i was offered a cigarette once, but fuck that
also why do you still type like an ss reject
1. i find that at christian schools shit like that is even worse but i dunno maybe i am wrong
2. ye word
3. how was that typin like a ss reject i was trying to make a raised eye face wtf
i dont even understand that do people who want to be in the ss type a specific way as opposed to people who are in the ss and how was thdfhgugu
...U Mad Bro.................
he typed so mant words o.o
(https://thebackalleys.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_qZ7oSwb2KLs%2FTACnpCMwRYI%2FAAAAAAAAClY%2Fmmes5ufWnK8%2Fs1600%2FRedHandedDetail_copy.JPG&hash=5bea095850c09c0bc5d035b80c657840df71d12a)
my lil bro took medical marijuana for anxiety and OCD and now he can cope better
its not as cool as it may sound
Quote from: nonzopQuote from: rtilQuote from: nonzopQuote from: rtilQuote from: Blordowwho doesn't smoke weed
i've just never been offered it
;:-\ 4 real??
yeah for real. i can think of a few reasons why, mostly that from 7th to 12th grade i went to a private "christian" school. there were still pot smokers there, they were just less of them and they pretended they weren't. and then in uni the parties sucked so i never really went to any
i was offered a cigarette once, but fuck that
also why do you still type like an ss reject
1. i find that at christian schools shit like that is even worse but i dunno maybe i am wrong
2. ye word
3. how was that typin like a ss reject i was trying to make a raised eye face wtf
i dont even understand that do people who want to be in the ss type a specific way as opposed to people who are in the ss and how was thdfhgugu
my school wasn't as strict as others so i don't think the students were as oppressed. we didn't have uniforms or anything like that. just chapels on thursdays and a bible class in 8th and 11th grade.
and i dunno i thought you were doing the thing where people type like ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;shyt...................... :-) and misspell everything and generally look like morons on purpose
but i dont really do that
ss isnt the only forum in the world that talks like that (i.e. realraptalk, worldstarhiphop)
& most of em dont even try to be sarcastic or funny lmao
yeah i know where they copy it from but that's what i associate it with
(https://thebackalleys.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F__jAui5OTsRU%2FSyq78c-vNGI%2FAAAAAAAACfE%2FQBRpR8QXN6o%2FS1600-R%2Fmona-lisa--joint.jpg&hash=bb31d31b7f1fb4d480a2b30fa742b8ee91038b37)
Nah I've never smoked but I'm okay with people who smoke. I was never offered in highschool because I was a loner who sat in the back just drawing in my own little world. Then in college we have an artist's lounge in the back room with this huge ventilation machine that was used for clearing paint fumes but the artists used it to smoke weed without anyone knowing what was going on back there. And whenever I went there to eat lunch or take a break from painting, I was offered literally every day by the same 3 artists who basically lived there and who "had forgotten" they already offered me and I always declined. Sometimes they even passed out on the couch I was sitting at and would lay their head on my lap while I ate and say, "Hey Crystal is so chill...dude you want a hit?" and I'd say "no thanks" again and again. Despite they were stinky, they were very polite and shared their beer and pizza and I liked the really long stories they told me haha. So yeah I'm okay with smokers but I'm not one myself.
agh i hate stoners like that
It can be nice to do it now and then but i cant stand people who treat it as a way of life or try to be all "it makes me understand the universe and i do my best work high" type shit. People who get paranoid after use can be funny or irritating depending on the exent or what they get paranoid about.
Quote from: Casey Pixmintroits really easy to find and relatively cheap where i live, id rather smoke pot than drink or smoke cigs, fuck cigs
This too
^ i had one friend who laid on the grass outside on a cold night, paranoid as fuck thinking he's going to die, spewing up nothing but his own saliva for over an hour, probably one of the worst times i've smoked up with anyone ever.
I've done weed twice and both times learned its not for me.
It puts me on edge and makes me super depressed.
^
3 times for me. none of them were any good.
it was just making me not want to do anything and (the first time) heavily paranoid.
fuck that
don't smoke weed if you already have depression. weed doesn't make you feel any less depressed. it will only make you realise more that you are depressed lmao.
So I was at this social meeting this kind of like a group therapy almost, and everyone is going to the middle of the circle and saying a little bit about themselves. "Hi I'm Steven I'm a retired sales advisor for Warner Bros". "I'm Denise and my passion is ice skating". Etc, etc. So the guy before me is going. He looks to be about in his mid-30's, bald, wearing tan khakis and and sitting cross-legged as if he's real important.
"I'm Mark," he says as he stands up. "Umm... I'm atheist and uh... that's it I guess." The words stumble from his mouth much like the blood from a squirrel being mutilated by a lawnmower. He sits back down. Our eyes lock. My breathing starts to quicken, and I can feel myself burning red with rage. Mark is giving me a funny look. Before anyone can react, I reach out and snatch up Mark by the collar.
"An atheist?" I say, leaning in, breathing down hard on the shivering Mark. "Do you even realize how ridiculous the concept of atheism is?" The others have started a commotion. Standing, shouting. Telling me to stop. But I won't stop. I shove Mark to the floor.
"B-but it's just my personal view!" cries Mark, holding out one hand almost as if to create a pathetic shield. I begin to laugh hysterically. Then I pull out my 9mm, cock it, and shoot Mark in both of his kneecaps. He howls in pain. The others are panicking, fleeing in terror. I fire randomly around the room, squealing in glee as bullets whiz everywhere. The room is empty, except for me and Mark, and a dozen bleeding corpses. Mark is calling out desperately for help. He had no idea what is coming.
"When you decided to become an atheist," I said, tossing the pistol aside, "Did you even consider that the existence of god is unprovable either way?"
"Please," Mark begged weakly. "Please, just let me go."
"Shut up," I snort. "Shut your ugly, conjecture-spewing mouth." With that I pull a full-sized chainsaw out from my jacket and begin to rev it up. "Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel yet?" I ask with a cackle. "Oh wait, that's right, you don't believe in the afterlife." Then I castrate his face.
lmao
Quote from: parkourboy3829023732098498So I was at this social meeting this kind of like a group therapy almost, and everyone is going to the middle of the circle and saying a little bit about themselves. "Hi I'm Steven I'm a retired sales advisor for Warner Bros". "I'm Denise and my passion is ice skating". Etc, etc. So the guy before me is going. He looks to be about in his mid-30's, bald, wearing tan khakis and and sitting cross-legged as if he's real important.
"I'm Mark," he says as he stands up. "Umm... I'm atheist and uh... that's it I guess." The words stumble from his mouth much like the blood from a squirrel being mutilated by a lawnmower. He sits back down. Our eyes lock. My breathing starts to quicken, and I can feel myself burning red with rage. Mark is giving me a funny look. Before anyone can react, I reach out and snatch up Mark by the collar.
"An atheist?" I say, leaning in, breathing down hard on the shivering Mark. "Do you even realize how ridiculous the concept of atheism is?" The others have started a commotion. Standing, shouting. Telling me to stop. But I won't stop. I shove Mark to the floor.
"B-but it's just my personal view!" cries Mark, holding out one hand almost as if to create a pathetic shield. I begin to laugh hysterically. Then I pull out my 9mm, cock it, and shoot Mark in both of his kneecaps. He howls in pain. The others are panicking, fleeing in terror. I fire randomly around the room, squealing in glee as bullets whiz everywhere. The room is empty, except for me and Mark, and a dozen bleeding corpses. Mark is calling out desperately for help. He had no idea what is coming.
"When you decided to become an atheist," I said, tossing the pistol aside, "Did you even consider that the existence of god is unprovable either way?"
"Please," Mark begged weakly. "Please, just let me go."
"Shut up," I snort. "Shut your ugly, conjecture-spewing mouth." With that I pull a full-sized chainsaw out from my jacket and begin to rev it up. "Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel yet?" I ask with a cackle. "Oh wait, that's right, you don't believe in the afterlife." Then I castrate his face.
Superb
Narrate this for me and I will animate this. Or if you don't want to and don't mind, I'll narrate and animate thiz
ill do it
actually you do it will be funnier that way
enough of this shit, let's hear more about CoolDrMoney's neighbor.
he's dead we'll never see him again
Quote from: DrRumackhe's dead we'll never see him again
You guys are not going to believe what happened last night. Shit pisses me off.
So I'm at the movies with this girl I've been seein for a couple weeks you know nothin serious. We went to see that new movie Source Code or whatever. Thought it'd be good.
So were sittin there eatin some popcorn n gettin all cuddly. When all of a sudden the movies main star Jake Gyllenhall comes on the big screen. Thats when this girl, she says "Oh my god I love him so much". First of all let me tell you how rude this is. When you're inside a movie theatre, you don't talk. There are people who paid money to listen to the movie. No one wants to pay money to listen to whatever you have to say. Anyway so I turn to her and go "Can you please not talk so loudly? I'm trying to watch Source Code starring Jake Gyllenhall". Then this girl has the nerve to open her mouth AGAIN and say "Oh I'm sorry. I can stop talking if you like. Didn't mean to make you upset."
"Maybe you didn't hear what I just said..." I spoke to her. I leaned in close, breathing heavily on her ear; I could feel the vibrations of her erratic heartbeat shake the air. "...I said stop talking." I grabbed her by her shitty hair and slammed her head on the seat in front of her. A pathetic murmur of pain escaped her mouth. "You just don't listen...?"
I lifted her up and cracked her spine on my knee. The sound of shattering discs throughout her weak body echoed throughout the theatre. Her face was frozen in agony. What a bitch. I leaned in close again, her gaze locked upon me, fear imprinted on every wrinkle, every blemish of her stupid face. "If you like Jake Gyllenhall so much..." I whispered, "...maybe you'd like to get a closer look."
I sunk my fingers into her eyes and clawed deep in their gooey recesses. With great force, I pulled the organs out of their sockets, dangling from my hands, damp with tears. Similar to a sling I lobbed the wet eyes towards her hunky hero. They thudded against the large screen. This joke of a girl I came with now had something to think about while she searched the floor for her lost organs aimlessly. I almost cracked a smile at how ridiculous she looked but remembered her offense and quickly my face turned grim. "Here's looking to you" I told her as I walked out of the theatre.
Women...
i was taking a poo inside my house like i usually do, when all the sudden some other guy was taking a poo in the same toilet as me at the same time as me (as he usually does every thursday). my face went red and i immediately went livid with anger. i clenched my butt with great force and then i smashed it against his face, breaking every bone in his visage immediately, and also getting gross poopoo all over my bathroom. then i threw all of my weight into my anus hole and crushed his head into an unrecognizable mess of eyeballs, blood, brains and entrails with a butt bomb of legendary proportions. anyways i wasn't really angry i kinda just felt hungry so i went to taco bell, can you believe it costs almost 2 dollars for a goddamn bean burrito nowadays?
was walking to the grocery store a couple days ago to pick up a quart of bread, saw some motherfucker sitting on the sidewalk *listening to **tunes. i gave him a quarter because he was homeless.
*dying
**cancer