sing a frustrating account

[Philip K Dick]

Sing
A "Frustrating Account"
(Interpreted by Steven J. Pumpkin)

Volume 1: Huilen Is Voor Jou Te Laat

   It was nearing noon and Peter was still a virgin. "Grob darn it..." thought Peter out loud to himself. "When will I ever lose my virginity?"  The ironic part about this statement is that there are no female characters in the story.

"If only I could be more like my  hero, Andrew Capelli..." mumbled Peter. Andrew Capelli was a master of the masters. He                  Peter was a disciple of the Andrew Capelli signature style, the Jeet-kun-breasts technique. The Jeet-kun-breasts required vigorous breast meditation and to master the technique was considered gay. This story takes place in south-western Europe.

   The sound of ghosts isn't a dice two. That being said, when Peter heard the ghost, he soiled his boat. As if to make things worse the ceiling was about the collapse in upon it-self...

   "Utilitarian! Utilitarian!" scowled the ghoul. It was obviously a goat with high moral political standards. Sing I mean the Peter just wished it would go away so he could masturbate his breasts in peace. There wasn't one thing in this world Peter wanted more than to suffocate that poltergeist with his own two breasts.

   "Hey Peter," whipped the ghost. His name was Scowskög, btw. Yeah. Scowskög Snowshoe. That was the ghost'a name. "Wanna play billiards with my and the bouls?"

   "Fuck," said Peter, "you. I don't; have to for you." It was the true. Bouls never wandered outside with home you couldn't trust today. Today. A different kind of company, Plus the wax. Angry! The ghost. Angry I!, ghost. SPOOKY MANSION GHOST ATTAX

   "It is I, Count Periwether II!" squealed the ghost who was not the ghost.

   "Oob!" said Peter. You are actually" Periwether Dos when I thought yo

U were a the chost all along"

"Trappy o'chips!" Count Periwether II is the central antagonist/villain featured in the Sing Boy Gets Laid franchise. He is well known for the moustache on each one of his breasts. The End



Volume 2: 2

Battle

Peter wuz about 2 finished when Andrews Capelli appear!

   "I will sacrifice my breasts for u... sing... child... UGH!!"

      "NOO! ANDREW CAPELLI!" gayed Peter. "Don't do it because then the fans would lose their favorite character as decided by the Sing Boy Gets Laid Favorite Character Fan Poll 2008..."...

   The End

[creamcorn]

best story of 2010 so far

[trent bortknob]

incredible

[nrg0789]

lolwtf

[retrosmash]

The sound of ghosts isn't a dice two.