stupid dumb things your dad does

[creamcorn]

farts when he disagrees with something on the news
talks with his mouth full
drinks straight from the milk/juice bottle from da fridge
plays with his phones camera like a little kid in front of people
his best joke is he walks by when youre sitting down and farts in your face

but i love him

[funzop]

farts aint funny i dont like ur dad

[shura]

-keeps his cellphone, keys, pager, and other important items clipped to his belt so they dont get lost
-if that stuff isn't clipped to his belt, its in a fannypack around his waist
-keeps shit tons of loose change in his pockets so that he can ALWAYS PAY IN EXACT CHANGE ALWAYS
-always tucks in his shirt. even if it's a t-shirt, he tucks it into his pants
-clenches his teeth when he gets stressed
-everytime we walk away from the house or the car, he always has to walk back to make sure he locked the door, even tho he did. but he has to doublecheck.
-watches the history channel

[funzop]

masturbates on the couch
hits me

[spite]

my dad has a cute tan
dads night out
me and my dad

[creamcorn]

-keeps his cellphone, keys, pager, and other important items clipped to his belt so they dont get lost
-if that stuff isn't clipped to his belt, its in a fannypack around his waist
-keeps shit tons of loose change in his pockets so that he can ALWAYS PAY IN EXACT CHANGE ALWAYS

lfmao my dad does this too he also doublechecks the receipt and walks back when they made a mistake, talking really loudy so EVERYONE in the store CAN HEAR THAT HE IS AN HONEST MAN

[Jeinu]

work from home so he can be a full-time workaholic
collect a ton of weird old radio tech stuff
talks to the TV correcting mistakes on discovery channel shows that have to do with engineering or science-y stuff. then talks to whoever's in the room and goes "these guys don't know what they're talking about". continues watching anyway.

[spite]

my DAD takes FOREVER in the BATHROOM and it SMELLS!!!

[Philip K Dick]

sings songs incorrectly

[Ashington]

dad dancing

[tmk]

constant nail biting and the dreaded sandals/socks combo

[spite]

his shirts are totally NOT COOL!

[Necronomitr0n]

peter pan complex

[Fuzz]

talks on and on and on and on about stuff I don't give 2 shits about

plays his guitar all the freaking time. Yes I know the acoustic version of "Overkill" is great, but I don't need to hear it every time I come downstairs for a drink!!!

Calculates all sorts of shit on his calculator when he's not playing his guitar.

[emanhattan]

my dad died when I was like 9 and he was pretty chill from what I remember

my mom on the other side drives me mad crazy fuck I want to get out of my house soon

-yells to people at supermarkets
-parks in the spaces for disabled people
-calls my cell phone all day long and I MEAN ALL DAY LONG to ask where I am even when Im at home and she could just walk a few meters to get to me
-Farts, burps and doesnt care anymore

[billy]

hates "japs" because grandma hates them because of pearl harbor

[Crabarms]

Cheap.
Goes to creepy churches to pick up women, then goes to next church when said women finds out he's juggling between two other creepy ugly women.(he's using the internet to pickup weird other desperate people lately.)
Very religious and hypocritical.
For the last few years only seen him through funerals so its really awkward to talk to him.
He has a guitar and thinks he can play just strumming shit and playing over music that he did not make. Nope don't need to know about chords or anything about the guitar just strum it and believe in yourself.

JESUS MISSILE

[Gregly]

Works out of the home on weekends and has been going to Michigan during the week lately. (My dad designs programs and makes circuit boards for big machines)

Pretends to hate the cats (he secretly likes them)

If we go out to eat somewhere where we've always had good service, and it's bad once, WELL WE'RE NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN

Eats all the candy/tasty stuff in the house.

Farts and stuff, I guess.

[Alta Don]

is in his underwear 24/7