There Was This One Time

[Kirbopher]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/493686

My 2nd year student film for college and first original cartoon.

I'm interested in hearing what you guys think of it specifically, any critique and feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[RobHalford]

I like how you have 2 accounts.

1 for serious work that will get pissed on by your fanboys.

And another for your low brow, nerdy parody work that your fanboys eat up.

Genius.

[rtil]

the story  - for what it was - is interesting, and i think it had potential for humor. but the voice acting felt really uninspired

the animation is better than what you usually do, but you're still having the characters move from one position to another with no room for timing. for being so cartoony i'd figure they'd do more then simply dart from one pose to the next

[lenko]

This was pretty nice! Like rtil said I wish you'd have used the extra frames to portray a bit more acting/weight, although I love the way you animated the ferret, I wish the rhino would have had a bit more of a sluggish weight to him. Also, aside from the bat hitting his head on the ceiling, there wasn't really anything that implied he was blind. Having him be sat the wrong way round for half the game (meaning the others could see his cards) would have been pretty hilarious

I also think the 'what game ARE we playing?' concept should have been used as a punchline rather than "we ARE the wager", but maybe that's just me. The rhino was the real driving force and probably the best character, and I wish you'd have involved the old man a little more.

I think the best part animation wise was when the ferret is dodging the laser and then it flashes back to the group and there's these neat lighting effects

By the way you are a lucky bastard for being able to use Flash for your second year project, we're stuck with AE : /

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

i liked it somewhat. it was silly and had funny drawings. not the smoothest animation in the world but better than i'd say a good 90-95% percent of the balogna that passes for animation on the internet and especially newgrounds. i think it might be that your characters go from pose to pose so fast and there's no "bounce" to it. makes it seem sketchy. if you havent seen "Mr.Coo" i'd recommend it. The characters in that bounce a whole lot.

i dont like how you've got a second account for more "serious" work. it seems like a bit of a cowardly way to get respect from people who dont know you as "kirbopher" and to also escape your fanbase whom im sure are annoying to be around. and i should know, i am an expert at being a coward.



and now

for a question that will reveal me for the weeaboo that I am:



the squirrel and rhino sounded an awful lot like krillin and nappa from the "Dragonball Z: Abridged" youtube series.
an awful lot. Like. I am certain it's them. It's them isn't it?

if i'm wrong (and i am most certain i am not) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2nWh6wui0 then they sound EXACTLY like them it's actually rather disturbing.


also the old man was the best character. this has been a review by zekeyanimationstudios incorporated copyright 2009 yup




also really bad timing submitting this on pico day

[Kirbopher]

Okay first and foremost let's clear some things up, because apparantly you guys haven't read anything I've ever posted about on the front page of NG, not that you're required to, but the answers to some of these things are already "out there":

Why hide behind this "NEO-C" bullshit?

Read this: http://kirbopher.newgrounds.com/news/post/268897

tl;dr: It's not an alt account, it's not an act of cowardice and I'm not trying to hide or cover up anything. I credit and list myself as Chris "Kirbopher" Niosi in everything associated with the page. It's for the sake of convenience, no different than the individual people that work on DBZAbridged using the TeamFourStar YouTube page solely to upload stuff for DBZAbridged and have a page dedicated to it.

Perfectly segwaying into:


Why do the voices sound like people from DBZAbridged?

Read this: http://kirbopher.newgrounds.com/news/post/305694

tl;dr: I'm good friends with the people behind TeamFourStar, I based the characters off of them, tailor-fitting each of them to my favorite voice of theirs and we improved and wrote the script together over Skype months ago.


Continuing the segways, yeah there were probably a lot of missed oppourtunities for other (better) jokes, but we were satisfied with what became the finalized script and thought it was funny so we rolled with it. When it gets down to it the story and overall setup is pretty "pointless" but I guess it's just entertainment through the quirks of the characters being silly.

Also you're right, the character animation isn't the best. What I'm actually pretty upset about is that the teacher I had this year (2nd year) will be teaching all character animation to 3rd year students when I go back in Fall...but I don't have her. Instead, I'll probably be doing more films and won't be learning anything new as far as actually animating. My teacher this year has prettymuch solidified that I already know how to make a completed film (I was one of the few in the class that finished the entire project) so this class simply allowed me to make a more "polished" cartoon compared to my other stuff.

So if I continue to do more work like this, I'm hoping that I can figure out and learn more about simply doing good character animation and not just "doing a movie" somehow regardless of class. I don't know if having the shading process that I was 2/3rds into would've made it any better or worse but I wish the file hadn't crapped out on me as well.

Lastly, couple quick things:

-Considering I don't care if this gets front page, or awards of any kind, my just so happening to post it on Pico Day is inconsequential to me in the long run.
-In response to your review Zekey, I'm not asking you to "like me" just because I did an original cartoon finally. I asked for critique and that's plenty enough for me, unless you find that "desperate" like the last time I said something of that nature.
-Also you're not a weeaboo for liking DBZAbridged. Scott, Lani and Taka write funny shit, hence why I enjoyed writing this cartoon with them.

Thanks for the response thus far.

[rtil]

i find it interesting that at your school once they consider you good enough to do something they put you on something else. they should give you an opportunity to make a better animated cartoon next year

[lenko]

thats a shame about your teacher

that said animation is more of a self-discipline thing really i mean all i go to classes for is for feedback and learning programs

well theres some cool dudes there too but whatever!!

you got the animators survival kit? it teaches some gr8 things about character animation man

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

you got the animators survival kit? it teaches some gr8 things about character animation man

Lastly, couple quick things:

-Considering I don't care if this gets front page, or awards of any kind, my just so happening to post it on Pico Day is inconsequential to me in the long run.
-In response to your review Zekey, I'm not asking you to "like me" just because I did an original cartoon finally. I asked for critique and that's plenty enough for me, unless you find that "desperate" like the last time I said something of that nature.
-Also you're not a weeaboo for liking DBZAbridged. Scott, Lani and Taka write funny shit, hence why I enjoyed writing this cartoon with them.

Thanks for the response thus far.

[BloodyCheery]

-In response to your review Zekey, I'm not asking you to "like me" just because I did an original cartoon finally. I asked for critique and that's plenty enough for me, unless you find that "desperate" like the last time I said something of that nature.


Thanks for the response thus far.

Wow. Like, geez. Zekey gives you an honest critique - not saying ANYTHING nasty to you - and you basically slap him across the face.

 

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

Wow. Like, geez. Zekey gives you an honest critique - not saying ANYTHING nasty to you - and you basically slap him across the face.

i like the slappin


mmm yeh babeh make me cummmmm

[Kirbopher]

rtil- No that's the thing, we ARE being given the chance to do a better animated film next year. However, if I had the choice, I would rather focus my main animation class all of next year on doing character animation so I can make any future projects look that much better.

lenko- The same applies for my school too yeah, I guess I'm looking for specific things to get out of it since it's costing a lot of money to go there. I need to finish Survival Kit this summer, also my friend who worked on $00pah NiN10Doh! with me has the DVD version I've been wanting to see, too.

Zekey- No, I'm not mad and like I said I appreciate the comments, I just think it's irrelevant to throw the "I still don't like you but..." at the beginning.

BloodyCheery- Not really.

[Flash]

since when is zekey bobby brown
that was a somehwta obscure lyrical reference ksdjhfasd

btw your movie was nice, I didn't like the voice acting much

[Kirbopher]

I think this is kind of why I prefer talking to people over spoken word as opposed to text, because I think you guys're really easily misinterpreting a lot of what I say as being backhanded.

For the record, I don't "dislike" anyone on here nor am I looking for your "approval" of me as a person. I made this thread because we didn't get any actual feedback or critique when we played the films in class, we just watched them one after the other and if people laughed they laughed. You guys all have an understanding of real animation and are bluntly honest so I figured that there would be no harm in putting this up here. I'm getting what I want out of it and I'm not attempting to start another fight so let's not make a big deal out of this.

[funzop]

isnt the dvd version of the animators survival kit like a thousand dollars

[Kirbopher]

He got it from school and ripped it. I've heard it's basically just a video version of the book's lessons but still more than worth checking out.

[vagina]

that made my vulva swell