Scifi's big premier tomorrow is poo

[Animegamer]

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/...19,0,7011.story

and http://www.sliceofscifi.com/2009/04/18/kni...f-scifi-review/ (second opinion)

In a fantasy world, 'Knights of Bloodsteel' would be good
But in reality, this Sci Fi movie is bad, bad, bad, from the script to the directing to the acting.

Imagine, if you will, that Peter Jackson offered, as an Internet sweepstakes prize or part of a school silent auction, the opportunity to visit the costume and prop collections from "Lord of the Rings" and keep anything that could be shoved into a cart in, say, 30 minutes.

Imagine the person who won then decided to wrangle a bunch of friends, many of whom seem to have received their only acting experience through local Renaissance Faires, into making a movie. Imagine one of those friends somehow knew Christopher Lloyd and managed to convince him that if Ian McKellen and Michael Gambon could don fantasy-flavored robes and silver wig hats and still deliver commanding performances then he could too.

Got it? Well, now you can watch it on Sci Fi, but only if you literally have nothing else to do. "Knights of Bloodsteel" is so bad it's not even good-bad, it's just bad-bad.

The four-hour, two-part movie tells the tale of Mirabilis, a mythical land chock full of humans, elves and goblins in which the only thing of value, apparently, is a magical metal called bloodsteel. What little remains is controlled by the awful and horrible Dragon Eye (Mark Gibbon), a monster so ridiculously hideous he looks like he was drafted from a later episode of "The Power Rangers."

There is, as luck would have it, a magic crucible that produces vast quantities of bloodsteel. To ensure that Dragon Eye doesn't find it first, elven elder Tesselink (Lloyd) teams two humans, an elf and a goblin to seek and possibly destroy the crucible.

All of which sounds much more interesting than it actually is. Sam Egan's script is trite and sophomoric, the acting beyond dismal -- David James Elliott, late of "JAG," plays John Serragoth but insists on employing an accent that moves from Irish to Welsh to Brooklyn, often within the same sentence -- and so many visuals are lifted from "Lord of the Rings" that director Philip Spink should be ashamed of himself.

The bad guys are nothing but Orc rip-offs and speak in those deep electronically modified tones so beloved of cartoons. And as the "hot" elf Perfidia, Natassia Malthe ("BloodRayne II: Deliverance") is strangely graceless; every time she pulls out her two swords, you're fairly certain she will cut off her own head. Forget the bloodsteel, Perfidia; a little WD-40 works wonders.

It's heartbreaking to see Sci Fi, which just wrapped up the righteous and dignified genre classic "Battlestar Galactica," offer this as its idea of fantasy. In the post-"LOTR," "Harry Potter" world, you've just got to do better than this.

[rtil]

i've never even heard of this

doesn't sound like any good, kind of like their name change

[tmk]

with bsg having ended, there's no longer any reason to watch scifi

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

scifi made a shitty movie?


WOW WHAT BREAKING FUCKING NEWS


they make a shitty movie like twice a week. noone cares or watches.

[Daveb0t]

I enjoy watching the shitty movies

Also:
-Eureka
-Outer Limits
-The shitty series
-mmmmm I like both the shitty and creative stuff they have on there

Also that tin man 3 part spin off on the Wizard of Ozz was pretty good too

[ansel]

scifi made a shitty movie?


WOW WHAT BREAKING FUCKING NEWS


they make a shitty movie like twice a week. noone cares or watches.

[Daveb0t]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nzd0R_OeOc

[Necronomitr0n]

lmao

[Michelle]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nzd0R_OeOc

uggggggh