The best of both worlds in one night

psi43 · February 19, 2008 06:45 PM

Found this on the SS forums, it's hilarious:

im your average teenager, average size, average intelligence, and average looks. i even had an average name, joe. i have few real friends that i can truly relate to, and we do everything together, except one afternoon when i was walking home from school.

i was just shuffling along minding my own business when suddenly this one girl who i had a crush on since 6th grade walked pass me. her name was miley stewart. she was so perfect, with her glowing eyes, dazzling long reddish brown hair, and that cute smile. it was quite obvious she was out my of league. she turned around and called out my name, "Jooeeey!". i was startled, and quickly turned around. i was trying to not make a fool out of myself to further mess up my image in front of her. she hollered once more, "Come over heeere!". running as fast as i could, i hurried over there.

but due to my bad luck, i tripped over a crack and fell face first into the ground. she laughed. i knew i was doomed when it came to ever getting a girlfriend. i got up and as i asked her what she wanted, she just stared at me. constantly for 30 seconds, 30 of the longest seconds of my life.

i was starting to freak out, as my legs felt they were going to give, and my hands trembling uncontrollably. then she just burst out laughing and asked friendly "Whats wrong, you're not afraid of me are you?". i replied with the only thing i could reply with, "No uhh of course not!". miley replied "Well thats good. I was wondering if you wanted to walk over to my house with me?".

"Sure, anything for you!"

together we walked, as i was spazzing out, shivering almost ever time she spoke. when we arrived, i was amazed to find that her house was an incredible 4 story mansion.

"Wow! Your parents must be rich!" i said.

"My father is a producer. We're well off." she said.

"Now how about we play a little game?"

i asked "What kind of game? Video games?"

she started walking up to me and crouched down. she grabbed my shorts, and slid them down slowly.

"What are you doing!" i yelled.

but she just continued, rubbing my legs and slipping my 5 1/2" cock out. she devoured it, sucking and stroking, spitting and licking. saliva was flowing out her mouth, dripping down her chin. i was feeling the best i have ever felt, experiencing a euphoria which seemed eternal.

"Yeah you little fucker! How do you like me sucking your big ass cock huh!" miley moaned, barely understandable.

the session lasted for over an hour, making it almost 8pm. it was getting late, and i hadn't even told my parents where i was at. miley said exhaustedly, "I need to goto the bathroom to clean up for a minute."

waiting patiently, i laid in awe of what had just occured. how could something this great have happened to me?

and apparently the greatness was just beginning, as miley came back out of the bathroom, not miley, but hannah montanna in a thin g-string.

i freaked "Whoa whoa whoa whats going on?"

"Only everything you've always wanted" she whispered

she took what clothing was left off and began to proceed walking over. she pushed me over on the bed and climbed up on it. she then spread open her pussy and crouched over my cock, slowly slipping it in.

i grabbed hold of her ass, sliding her up and down as i began to pull out my fucking gat and shoot the trick in the head. i continued to fuck her lifeless body as she fell backwards hanging off the edge. after i finished inside her, i dragged her out into backyard and hid her behind the shed.

truly the best of both worlds

zomfgbie · February 19, 2008 07:32 PM

oh my bananas

MRat · February 19, 2008 07:48 PM

HOLYFUCKING SHIT!

That was some hotass turdwelligans!

I have to go to work soon BUT MY BONER WON'T GO DOWN!

GRINACE · February 19, 2008 09:08 PM

Almost took the words outta my out, no homo.

Hammi · February 19, 2008 09:37 PM

LMFAO.

What a coincidence. Thats the sort of fantasy i have with wonchops girlfriend, no kidding.

Only that i choke her to death with a rope while finishing off from behind, while having wonchop to see the whole thing from a screen.

Why you ask? To take it out on his closest ones. Just to be purely evil to those who are involved.

And that was just another unnecessary plotty sample from my silly silly world. My bad.

psi43 · February 19, 2008 11:15 PM

can someone please ban hammi he's gay

mishkamash · February 19, 2008 11:18 PM

cool

Hammi · February 19, 2008 11:22 PM

Quote from: ΨNicolecan someone please ban hammi he's gay

f u

I should quit sharing my personal thoughts due to SOMEONE having a growing issue of intolerance.

psi43 · February 19, 2008 11:28 PM

I\\\'ve tried that several of times it just won\\\'t work.

I mean really, I\\\'d do it if I could.

oh and your personal thoughts are ok as long as they aren\\\'t supposed to be funny and/or sick. You\\\'re the kind of guy who wants to be seen as some sick dude but it just doesn\\\'t work.

Hammi · February 19, 2008 11:41 PM

I cant help it

Its this sort of thing that i cant lock up. Something id like to seal off and throw the keys away. But it comes back stronger and err... haunts me. Its hard to keep my mouth shut. You could call me a blabbermouth for that sake. Thats why i have an alt on NG called Pakonjo that i could release my personal tensions with.

Having a good go of thinking, i think i should zip my personal disturbing thoughts off for now and maybe for the eternity for everybodys sake here. And start bringing up the "positive" sides. The fact is, im not even trying... thats why i said "My bad". Sometimes i even scare myself.

trent bortknob · February 20, 2008 03:35 AM

lmfao at the end

anigen · February 20, 2008 03:57 AM

lmfao i thought this was real until i read the part where hannah montana comes out of the bathroom wearing a g-string

it was mildly entertaining

billy · February 20, 2008 05:21 AM

what does wonchop's gf look like?????

Gerkinman · February 20, 2008 05:48 AM

Quotewhat does wonchop's gf look like?????

Alot like this, only with hair.

rtil · February 20, 2008 08:36 AM

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...endid=200982472

Daagah · February 20, 2008 12:13 PM

she looks like this girl who was in my class a few years ago
she came because she got bullied at her former school, it only took 1 year and a half until she had to leave again.

zomfgbie · February 20, 2008 12:27 PM

QuoteMy name is Summer but on the internet i go by Natsu

why. its not like the internets a second life i dont get everyone to call me freek if we talk on msn it just clam. or that dick who never turns up anywhere

Necronomitr0n · February 20, 2008 04:10 PM

Quote from: Hammi
Quote from: Î¨Nicolecan someone please ban hammi he's gay

f u

I should quit sharing my personal thoughts due to SOMEONE having a growing issue of intolerance.

Get a therapist for fuck's sake

Daagah · February 20, 2008 04:19 PM

youre a nut
youre crazy in the coconut

what does that mean? that boy needs therapy

Hammi · February 20, 2008 05:24 PM

Pfft i dont need a therapist. Im fine. Theyre all just harmless fantasies, and thats where theyre gonna stay: in my mind. Now enough about me already, ugh.