Haven't run a virus scan on my computer ever

Started by TheOnceisenough, April 5, 2016 01:15 PM

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TheOnceisenough

April 5, 2016 01:15 PM
Only discovered one low threat on my PC, am I good computer owner yet?

ThatOneGvy

#1
April 5, 2016 04:44 PM
Virus scans? You don't need that, man. You also don't need anti-virus software.
So if you have any, get rid of them. After all, there is no such thing as a computer virus. Those are just lies told to you by the government so that you purchase anti-virus software that is actually spyware. Once installed, they monitor your activity & make bets on what you'll look up, videos you'll watch, porn you'll look at, & items you'll purchase over the net. At the end of the week, they tally up the scores & the winner gets the right to throttle your internet connection as much as they want for the next week.

soup

#2
April 5, 2016 04:57 PM
a computer virus murdered crackers and took his place. hes basically a human proxy, i am putting myself at great risk relaying this information to you

"He was shown the smallness and tinsel emptiness of the little Earth gods, with their petty, human interests and connections - their hatreds, rages, loves and vanities; their craving for praise and sacrifice and their demands for faiths contrary to reason and nature."


"...it stimulates the part of the brain called "shatners-bassoon", and that's the bit of the brain that deals with...time perception..."

TheOnceisenough

#3
April 5, 2016 05:17 PM
Thank you for telling me this. I will enable windows anti virus, avast, Norton and macafee to make sure I'm safe

ThatOneGvy

#4
April 5, 2016 05:46 PM
In that case, can you browse reddit between the hours of 8pm to 10pm tonight, browse NeoGaf for about half an hour tomorrow & get lost on TV Tropes between the hours of 9pm to 2:30am, & then search for midget porn parodies of the classical works of Shakespeare Thursday night?
Jimmy in section 12 really wants to win this week.

TheOnceisenough

#5
April 5, 2016 06:09 PM
Absolutely, I'll get on that once I can.  Who's Jimmy?

ThatOneGvy

#6
April 5, 2016 06:15 PM
Jimmy is Jimmy.

zwimmy

#8
April 6, 2016 12:01 AM
how make computer go fastre??????

Bamyasi

#9
April 6, 2016 01:53 AM
The M. Night Shyamalan twist ending is that you are the virus.

rtil please quarantine.

TheOnceisenough

#10
April 6, 2016 03:13 AM
Thank you all for your suggestions. I ended up using defendyourcomputer.swf and it is running faster than ever.

rtil

#11
April 6, 2016 04:41 AM
Quote from: Bamyasi on April  6, 2016 01:53 AM
The M. Night Shyamalan twist ending is that you are the virus.

rtil please quarantine.

:copstop:

!! THREAT QUARANTINED !!
DELETE? Y/N

:copstop:
CummiesDefender5000™

TheOnceisenough

#12
April 6, 2016 04:51 AM
You mean to say... *I* am the virus?

Bamyasi

#13
April 6, 2016 05:31 AM
Quote from: TheOnceisenough on April  6, 2016 04:51 AM
You mean to say... *I* am the virus?
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