Sorry

[crackers]

>So, it's another Friday night, midnight to be precise. I am browsing the Backalleys, when I hear a sharp, crisp sound that cuts through the air
>"Here you are, special delivery, pizza: No onions"
>Reaching into my pockets to pay the delivery man at the door, he guarantees me I do not need to pay. His voice is thick and Scottish
>Eventually, after rummaging, I look up, about to shrug my shoulders and make my excuses. The man is gone
>Keeping my wits about me, I pick up the pizza box. Eating alone hurts now, now my beloved Stella is gone
>I eat the pizza, it is aggressive
>Seven months later, I am back with my girl
>Letting myself into the house, I discover there is a note, how cute!
>"Oven is on, make dinner yourself, I left ingredients for you! Love S."
>Very strange, my girlfriend never lets me cum, let alone cook for her
>Exhausted, I finally finish preparing dinner
>Someone at the door
>"Here, what the fuck do you want at this time of night?"
>"...Really, laddeh? After all this time, is that all you've got ta say?"
>Even in my wildest dreams I could not imagine, my idol, my dad, it's Shrek!
>"Klear the table, laddeh, time to make onions: Have Shrex"
>I submit.
>Steeling myself against his powerful ogre cock, I find myself in a state of pure delight: Stockholm syndrome, except without the kidnap
>"Lie down, and I'll Shrock your holm lad(;"
>I'm exhausted, I can't move. I can't even fight back, and find myself slipping out of consciousness. I awaken to find myself sweating
>"Fuck! I'm in the oven!" Struggling to get free, I finally understand the situation: The recipe I'd been left wasn't just any old dish
>"Ends like this, huh?" I laugh, reading the first letter of every line.

[soup]

send this to 7 friends before 12ocock tomorrow or shrek will cook you

[crackers]

easy for you to say, you're not stuck in a fucking oven

[Bamyasi]

For all the funposting.

Fixed.

[crackers]

get shreked

[Holsterbau]

Shrek is not DRECK

[Bamyasi]

Wait, I just realized you made this. Color me virtually impressed.

Shrek is not DRECK

Was that the video that started this whole thing? Five times I've thought we were over Shrek and five times I've been wrong.

[rtil]

it's never ogre