How do i delete this account?

[rtil]

trust me jow i've been trying to get slack to delete me ever since i joined here and i can tell you from years of my best efforts that it is fruitless.

over 22k posts later and thousands of threats and the most unattractive porn sent to his pm box he still refuses to budge. i've tried every trick in the book and he just won't cave. i think i got close this one time when i managed to get his address and send him the world's 2nd largest collection of AOL trial floppy disks, but it backfired when it ended up just giving him more free dial-up. i applaud his patience and tolerance, and regret that my greatest ruse turned into my greatest failure. but i still really want him to delete my account. i don't think i've peaked just yet.

still, i haven't been able to hold a job since 2008 because of this damn forum account. at least i make enough money to pay off of TBA Premium's post viewcount adsense revenue for the occasional meal, ever since the librarian was gracious enough to let me sleep in the rafters during closing hours, as i could no longer afford my studio apartment after being fired from Staples (yes they still exist) for the yaoi dolphin-kin incident.

[bd648]

Why would you ever want to leave?
Besides didn't you read the TBA sign-up form? We own your soul.

[Vorespammer]

[slack]

i am sorry rtil i just can't let my #1 poster leave

[slack]

Hello rtil; as i just noticed, you are the one who posts most threads in the backalleys official news forums, which led me to guess you are an administrator or some of the kind. I want to delete my account; i searched around and the proceedings to deleting an account for an administrator doesn't seem really complicated; it has been around 2 days now, and nothing changed yet: no information on how i delete this account, why admnis can't delete my account, or if they are really going to delete my account. That's it: i just want to delete my account. In that post i've just made users have been complaining about the reasons why i wanted to delete my account, and yet, that's irrelevant. I just want to delete my account and i don't need to explain that. I'm not trying to be rude, but from all the sites i tried to delete accounts of mine, this one is the hardest yet. So please, don't prolong this conversation more than it should last.
I'm waiting and awnser, and hope you help me.
Thanks

Ok rtil is just the main poster for this forum, I tell him to update the forum and he does. But I'm the big boss around here, it's not his job to listen to problem users, I have a team for that.

[Flash]

this reminds me, I need to go ask facebook to permanently delete my chat logs. surely they'll respond faster and more efficiently than ol' slack here lol

[BluPhoenix]

as cfo and deputy inspector of thebackalleys, i'm sad to say that upon further investigation, all functions regarding user deletion are long gone. where there once was steady access to a plethora of commands, the majority have been lost to the ages amidst a terrible civil war that erupted long ago with the users known as the 'rumblebots' and the 'patty flippers'.

they fought tooth and nail within the infrastructure of the website and caused heinous amounts of collateral damage. many innocent lives were lost, as you can imagine. one of the ones who were mortally wounded was a man by the name of oldkid. he was the one who held onto the extra copy of mapping controls to the website, he did damn good work with it in his hands, just as well.

if you happen to investigate, and possibly stumble upon the control panel, or even just a post from oldkid- that would be more than we could ever ask for. please. just search for us at the least- and if you happen to find a post, or even posts by oldkid, we may be able to help you on your perilous journey to erase your history from thebackalleys.

godspeed.

[Flash]

as cfo and deputy inspector of thebackalleys, i'm sad to say that upon further investigation, all functions regarding user deletion are long gone. where there once was steady access to a plethora of commands, the majority have been lost to the ages amidst a terrible civil war that erupted long ago with the users known as the 'rumblebots' and the 'patty flippers'.

they fought tooth and nail within the infrastructure of the website and caused heinous amounts of collateral damage. many innocent lives were lost, as you can imagine. one of the ones who were mortally wounded was a man by the name of oldkid. he was the one who held onto the extra copy of mapping controls to the website, he did damn good work with it in his hands, just as well.

if you happen to investigate, and possibly stumble upon the control panel, or even just a post from oldkid- that would be more than we could ever ask for. please. just search for us at the least- and if you happen to find a post, or even posts by oldkid, we may be able to help you on your perilous journey to erase your history from thebackalleys.

godspeed.

funny man. but it doesn't seem like you are the admin.

wrong on both accounts.
(j/k blu ilu pls don't delete my acc like you deleted that other dude's last week)

[slack]

this reminds me, I need to go ask facebook to permanently delete my chat logs. surely they'll respond faster and more efficiently than ol' slack here lol

Deleting the chat logs and deleting an account is pretty different in facebook. One button and your facebook account is deleted.

First of all, you can't actually delete your facebook account without actually talking to a real facebook admin, and even then you need a damn good reason to do so, I've been trying to delete mine for over a year and they just won't do it.

Hello rtil; as i just noticed, you are the one who posts most threads in the backalleys official news forums, which led me to guess you are an administrator or some of the kind. I want to delete my account; i searched around and the proceedings to deleting an account for an administrator doesn't seem really complicated; it has been around 2 days now, and nothing changed yet: no information on how i delete this account, why admnis can't delete my account, or if they are really going to delete my account. That's it: i just want to delete my account. In that post i've just made users have been complaining about the reasons why i wanted to delete my account, and yet, that's irrelevant. I just want to delete my account and i don't need to explain that. I'm not trying to be rude, but from all the sites i tried to delete accounts of mine, this one is the hardest yet. So please, don't prolong this conversation more than it should last.
I'm waiting and awnser, and hope you help me.
Thanks

Ok rtil is just the main poster for this forum, I tell him to update the forum and he does. But I'm the big boss around here, it's not his job to listen to problem users, I have a team for that.

Then just delete my account ! Aren't in charge of this site? Shouldn't you be prepared to do things like that or you can't even find out basic shit like how to delete some member account? It's been 2 days already, and nothing has been done! i'm feeling like you aren't even trying, or just playing it as a game ! Can't you understand i want to delete this account? what's dificult about telling me the problem you are having to do such task? All you say is "okay, i'll look foward into it", or "yea i'll help you", but nothing happens ! Tell me what's the trouble you are having with deleting my account !

Dude, I'm like, super busy so it will have to wait.

[BluPhoenix]

(j/k blu ilu pls don't delete my acc like you deleted that other dude's last week)

fear not- when allie's pizza holocaust has begun, you shall be one of the many whom i shall aid

[bd648]

I don't care if this site is dead, if it ever was alive. Find out how to delete my account, and just do it. Seriously, if i was the admin i wouldn't take so long to do these stuff, because i would be in charge of them.

insults wont get you anywhere.

[creamcorn]

dude why would you wanna delete your account when youre so close to 100k posts?

[slack]

dude why would you wanna delete your account when youre so close to 100k posts?

this, at least make it to 100k posts you baby

First of all, you can't actually delete your facebook account without actually talking to a real facebook admin, and even then you need a damn good reason to do so, I've been trying to delete mine for over a year and they just won't do it.

http://www.accountkiller.com/en/delete-facebook-account .

Dude, I'm like, super busy so it will have to wait.

You are the admin of this site; deal with your responsibillites PLEASE. I don't care if this site is dead, if it ever was alive. Find out how to delete my account, and just do it. Seriously, if i was the admin i wouldn't take so long to do these stuff, because i would be in charge of them. Just don't prolong it more than it should last PLEASE.

Well dude I don't get paid to babysit this forum I DO have a real life outside the internet, it will always come before the internet.

[Stu4U]

this is a good thread.

[Kött]

As a matter of fact, slack is counting the dollars that he made from selling your private data to the nsa and a human trafficking organization working for the Russian Mafia as we speak.
The profit will soon be on one of his numerous Swiss bank accounts, from which it will directly be invested in pizza and Katawa Shoujo hentai commissions by rtil.

[rtil]

what blu said is mostly true.. although his memory isn't what it used to be. not since the incident. he's supposed to be taking medication for his ptsd but he is a stubborn man.

but some also believe that slack took these powers away from us, and fabricated a great series of events in an attempt at an all-encompassing power-grab. we are very lucky that he is a merciful dictator, and we owe him our lives for sparing us from his great and spectacular power , a power that we mere mortals cannot even fathom. even my mighty post count would be reduced to nothing but ashes in the wake of one single keystroke.

[redmongoose]

hi, I'm an admin.  Sorry about these guys and their 'lol epic randumb XD' antics, none of them know the meaning of restraint.

I, on the other hand, would be happy to help.  Could you give me the email address that you confirmed the account with?

[bd648]

I'm Spartacus!

[systech]

i'm dirty dan

[Barack Obama]

Jow279 I am posting to inform you that we at the NSA know your true reasons for wanting this account deleted and that I have personally dispatched a specially trained platoon of Navy Seals to your place of residence in order to capture and detain you until your date of execution. Happy National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day.