Best consumerist pickup lines

[valiums]

have u farl from sky because when i look up i see only empty sparce where

ur pretty ok but i don't love you as much as

ur not very good looking so can you hurry up and


i saw those pictures of ur grandma she used to be a real

[Bamyasi]

Okay, we can do it on my parents' bed, but you have to promise not to