I'll be reviewing games!

[psi43]

Okay, you tell me what to get and play and i will review it!!

If you don't know me too well, i'm not very fond of video games. Or you could put it this way, whenever i play a game, i get really fucking tired of it after a few hours! Here's a list of games that i have ALREADY played:

1. Black & White √
2. Black & White 2
3. Fable: The Lost Chapters
4. Fable III
5. The Sims 2
6. The Sims 3
7. Team Fortress 2
8. Empire Earth 1-3 + all Add-Ons
9. Darwina

So, here i go with my reviews, they won't be too long and indepth tho, unless you request it!

1. Black & White
Short summary of the game:
For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a game made by Lion Head Studios. Basically, you are GOD and you go pick a creature somewhere later in the game and fight with it and all that (i never got to the fighting part but still). You have a small village of people who do shit for you and you can take rocks or people and destroy their houses or throw the people around.

I had this game when i was a little kid and i remember that i enjoyed it.
So, I am 20 years old now, I got it again! I started playing and had little-to-no-fun at all in the first 40 minutes, because all it was was some old guy and a fat imp talking about how to move the camera and how to interact with the world (which really, was pretty obvious after 20 seconds of playing the game) and there was no option that allowed me to skip the tutorial either. After being semi-pissed off at that, i said to myself "well maybe the actual game is alright" so i kept playing.
The game told me to get 3 stones and put them on some kind of platform so i could get my war-hero-creature. It told me exactly where to find the first one, so that was a piece of cake, as if you were doing a jigsaw puzzle and someone told you where all the parts should go to.

Then, for the second stone, i had to help some lady find her sick husband. I already knew where the stone was before i clicked the golden scroll (because i have played the game before). Upon destroying the house it was in, before clicking the golden scroll, it always instantly regained health so that sucked. I finally decided to not cheat and click the golden scroll to advance. After that - and i know i am repeating myself - some lady told me to find her sick husband somewhere in the mountains who was stupid enough to go out although he was sick to eat more of the mushrooms that made him sick IN FIRST PLACE. Anyways, the ugly red imp guide character who i assume was representing the devil told me to just take a rock and mash down the lady's house so i could get the token stone i need to advance; but clearly i'm not that evil. So i go into the mountains, pick up that lady's sick husband and throw that guy into the house until the lady's house collapses. The sick guy is dead, the lady complains, i throw her into the open sea and advance to get the next stone.

The next stone apparently broke a long time ago so i had to get some guy to make me a new one. I got him a fitting stone, which once again, the camera told me where to find it cause i'm assuming the game was made for people with an attention span of 2-3 seconds. After he was done making the token stone i need, i played bowling with it, using him and his house as a pin. I must say i grew quite a liking to the physics of that game and the opportunity to fuck everyone up.

Finally, i get to choose my creature, those were the choices:
1. A cow. ..yep.
2. A monkey that had way too long arms and a goofy face.
3. A yellow cat, which was supposed to be a tiger but looked nothing like it.

Of course, I go with the most obvious choice! The cow. I don't see why I, as a god of this world, couldn't just take all 3 creatures but i guess that's just something i can't do.
Then some black lady with white hair (?) introduced herself as the "creature trainer". After another 10 minutes of tutorial shit my creature grabbed her and threw her away, after which i petted it so it would do that more often. After that, the game got really boring, seriously. You could take your little creature for a walk and all that but it was still kind of like a tamagotchi that sadly couldn't die. I made it eat a shitload of my own men, which i guess could be considered fun for me. All of the sudden, a quests pops up telling me i have to use my creature to save people who are drowning in the ocean. Upon hearing those devastating news, i decide to get my creature to help them! So my creature swims to those drowning people, picks them up and eats them all. After that, the lady who told me those people were drowning in first place told me that i am evil and i should be ashamed of myself. My creature took her and threw her into the ocean as well, which was cool so i petted it once again.
Afterwards my creature the cow was entertaining a few people in the town which i beat it up for, cause i wanted it to be evil.

That's as far as i got, then i got bored of the game and seriously fucking creeped out, cause after the sidequest with the drowning people, someone kept whispering "death" into my headphones for the entire hour i kept playing it after that quest.

Now for the actual review i guess!!
Graphically the game was alright for its time i'd say, but there are NO OPTIONS WHATSOEVER to change the graphics of the game. You can't even change the fucking resolution, which was a pain in the ass for me cause i had to play it with 2 huge black spaces on the left and right, seeing as i am using a 16:9 widescreen monitor.
I kinda like the good-and-evil aspect of the game. Being a dick makes you less popular but you have way more fun and it actually helps you to get further relatively quickly. But petting your creature whenever it does something bad and giving it bitch-slaps whenever it does something good got really tiring after a few minutes.

That's it, i give the game  3     smileys out of 5! (The fewer  smileys i give out, the more i like the game).

Other game reviews will follow shortly!

[logen]

too much text:A I don't even remember the last time I've read about a game. If it's a review I'd rather watch a video and listen to someone's rant.

or a sound recording or whatever

[W.A.S.I.M.]

yo psi im planning on making a quick flash game for some sponsorship website like armorgames or who the fuckcares.com and hopefully ill get it done these weeks or at least this month,

if i get it done (lmao) would u mind beta testin it for me

[psi43]

sure thing wasim!!

And Logen, i've been thinking about doing that actually. It certainly wouldn't be hard to animate or record that stuff so maybe!

[billy]

chronicles of riddick assault on dark athena

[psi43]

chronicles of riddick assault on dark athena

i was told to play some reddick game by a rl friend of mine, not sure if that's the one but i'll definitely check it out!!

[lenko]

the fable series is horrid man

review gunstar heroes

[psi43]

the fable series is horrid man

review gunstar heroes

the first one, yes, the third one got me interested enough until almost the end i guess

[creamcorn]

is this just for fun or do you think that because youre not really fond of videogames youll make a good video game reviewer? if its the former then i like this idea keep it uP

[W.A.S.I.M.]

is this just for fun or do you think that because youre not really fond of videogames youll make a good video game reviewer? if its the former then i like this idea keep it uP

u can make some nice money with it if your sponsored on youtube

[Sinitron]

This wasn't even a review, it was a summary of half the shit you do on the first island and then a footnote about technical issues and what you liked/didn't like without much in the way of in-depth analysis.

Also, a quick google search revealed this; http://www.widescreengamingforum.com/wiki/...Black_%26_White

It should be possible to fix the resolution. I haven't played B&W in years because it's not a particularily great game (though it's an amazing concept), but generally older games tend to have problems on newer systems and you usually need to google for fixes, or to get the game running at all.