Caught my neighbor smoking pot

[Dailyman]

i was taking a poo inside my house like i usually do, when all the sudden some other guy was taking a poo in the same toilet as me at the same time as me (as he usually does every thursday). my face went red and i immediately went livid with anger. i clenched my butt with great force and then i smashed it against his face, breaking every bone in his visage immediately, and also getting gross poopoo all over my bathroom. then i threw all of my weight into my anus hole and crushed his head into an unrecognizable mess of eyeballs, blood, brains and entrails with a butt bomb of legendary proportions. anyways i wasn't really angry i kinda just felt hungry so i went to taco bell, can you believe it costs almost 2 dollars for a goddamn bean burrito nowadays?

[pocketpinecone]

was walking to the grocery store a couple days ago to pick up a quart of bread, saw some motherfucker sitting on the sidewalk *listening to **tunes. i gave him a quarter because he was homeless.

*dying
**cancer