true story thread

[DrRumack]

This one time I ate an entire pizza by myself, and then threw it all back up that night.

one time i tried to do this but decided i would rather not throw up

wait you guys struggle to eat entire pizzas? really?

ok i dunno if you guys have papa johns but MINE was papa sized and it had really greasy pepperonis on it and shut up

This one time I ate an entire pizza by myself, and then threw it all back up that night.

one time i tried to do this but decided i would rather break my promise and host a boring livestream cause i was chicken

STOP PICKING ON ME IT WAS J'S IDEA

[Fuzz]

The pizza isn't what made me throw up...

[Fautzo]

One time i was makin a sandwhich at the sandwhich bar at school and i was putting ketchup and mayo on it.

then this really creepy kid came up to me and said in like a way the joker would talk "Heeeeeey.....can i have some blood and cum to put in my sandwhich too.....?"

then i looked at it and i wasnt hungry anymore

[aether]

One time i was makin a sandwhich at the sandwhich bar at school and i was putting ketchup and mayo on it.

then this really creepy kid came up to me and said in like a way the joker would talk "Heeeeeey.....can i have some blood and cum to put in my sandwhich too.....?"

then i looked at it and i wasnt hungry anymore

why not

[Fautzo]

because i knew that it would never become blood and cum and would always stay ketchup and mayo

i knew i really hungered for blood and cum

[emanhattan]

When I was 10 years old I called my teacher an asshole in front of the entire classroom

[lenko]

Once, I very carefully painted a black ant with red paint and put him back in the colony and the rest of them freaked out and refused to talk to him (they would spaz if he tried to tap antennas to communicate). Then they called a huge guard ant to kick him out of the hole, and when he tried to go back in, the group attacked him and tore his body limb from limb into tiny pieces.

holy fuck

also how did you manage to get the ant in one place to paint him

[MarcK]

Once, I very carefully painted a black ant with red paint and put him back in the colony and the rest of them freaked out and refused to talk to him (they would spaz if he tried to tap antennas to communicate). Then they called a huge guard ant to kick him out of the hole, and when he tried to go back in, the group attacked him and tore his body limb from limb into tiny pieces.

holy fuck

also how did you manage to get the ant in one place to paint him

just knock him out. I think theres this set amount of time you can put bugs in a freezer and it just puts them out for a while

[dilly]

one time i wrote douche into one of my school papers and didn't get in trouble.

[spite]

I teepeed houses up untill my senior year of high school because it was so fun :]

[zhicago]

I've ended a years-long friendship because they decided to use one of my Calvin and Hobbes books' pages as bonfire tinder.

[psi43]

one time i wrote douche into one of my school papers and didn't get in trouble.

oh that reminds me

for a presentation i had to do in school, in english, i was supposed to create a "classroom activity", a crossword puzzle or a quiz or whatever. Since i thought that the idea of a classroom activity was stupid i decided to make a wordsearch puzzle and put vulgar words in there, like fuck, nigger, dick, jew, penis, vagina etc etc etc

[Fuzz]

one time i wrote douche into one of my school papers and didn't get in trouble.

oh that reminds me

for a presentation i had to do in school, in english, i was supposed to create a "classroom activity", a crossword puzzle or a quiz or whatever. Since i thought that the idea of a classroom activity was stupid i decided to make a wordsearch puzzle and put vulgar words in there, like fuck, nigger, dick, jew, penis, vagina etc etc etc

And then...?

[DrRumack]

I've ended a years-long friendship because they decided to use one of my Calvin and Hobbes books' pages as bonfire tinder.

absolutely justified

also


this happened

[emanhattan]

I once LITERALLY wrote "fuck you bald asshole" in one of my high school papers to prove my friends that the teacher didnt read the assignments in history class and I got an A in it so Im guessing I was right

[DrRumack]

aghahahah eman

[Crabarms]

I used to put "cow" on math sheets we had to do. It worked for a while until the teacher started grading them.

[Gregly]

This one time back in England I was playing Goldeneye 64 and my brother came in with a bouncy ball. He bounced it off of the ground, off the wall, and it fell on the reset button and it really pissed me off

[CVG]

Once, I very carefully painted a black ant with red paint and put him back in the colony and the rest of them freaked out and refused to talk to him (they would spaz if he tried to tap antennas to communicate). Then they called a huge guard ant to kick him out of the hole, and when he tried to go back in, the group attacked him and tore his body limb from limb into tiny pieces.

holy fuck

also how did you manage to get the ant in one place to paint him

Yeah I felt bad for that ant. Poor thing... some huge alien abducted him and ruined his life/killed him :'<

I very carefully pressed his body to a tiny piece of tape face-up so he couldn't wiggle around, and using a magnifying glass, I took a tiny fine hair brush 50/100th and painted him using a non-toxic red paint. But I left his eyes and mouth black since I didn't want the paint to leak in and injure him. Also I've revealed too much oh god I was bored that day D:

[Philip K Dick]

i just removed all the backalleys members i could find from my facebook, true story!