This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Show posts MenuQuote from: Bamyasi on April 26, 2016 07:50 AMQuote from: SrsSam77 on April 26, 2016 07:42 AM
There's nothing there, and I don't even have you on steam
Add me then.
Quote from: Bamyasi on April 17, 2016 06:25 PM
Can confirm both my parents were English majors and they are both unemployed.
Quote from: crackers on April 12, 2016 08:58 AM
[This continuation has been posted on Discord. To read, please join Discord.]
Quote from: Hey guys, look! I'm finally a parkour master! on April 12, 2016 07:32 PMQuote from: Bamyasi on April 12, 2016 06:29 AM
"Yeth!" cried zwimmy (pronounced thwĭ·mmî), her little lisp echoing cutely throughout the dark, dank, dangerous forest. "DDs!" she shouted, a bit too loudly, and removed the highly protective bikini armor from the perfect chest, and fastened them to her own perfect chest, which they barely covered, before looking back inside. "And a Dragon Dildo™!" she gasped. Things were looking up for the lvl 3 Milk Elf, who was still a bit sore from her last random encounter with a party of Ass Goblins, but her luck seemed to have taken a turn for the better since she bought that "T-Totally Not Cursed!" ankle bracelet from a hooded forest merchant named Bam Yasi. Yeth, she thought, soon the Nine Erogenous Zones of Goddess would once again be peaceful, no longer fearing invasion from time-traveling interdimensional hentai tentacles which kept forcing their way through the Three Wormholes of the North and South Caverns. After all, she was the chosen one. I mean, seriously, why else would her village have picked her to journey into the Thorny Woods as their Sacrificial Hero? Most girls her age just got sent as maidens, suckers. A special title had been fabricated for zwimmy, as becoming a hero had been a dream of hers since childhood. She was going to save Goddess, or the ass wasn't fat (and the ass was always fat where she came from), she knew it, especially now that she was buffed with minus 3 luck.
When suddenly...
...a sharp whistling pierced Bamyasi's ears as if a wasp hovered by his ear canals.
Bamyasi wrenched his neck in the direction of the whistling. Standing in the doorway was Julia Roberts' legs from the 80s (late 80s ie mystic pizza era), in all their disembodied splendor.
"I didn't order these!" ejaculated Bam. "Oh wait." He pruned over his email receipts and found that he had ordered Julia Roberts' legs from the 80s. The receipt was wedged between a personal thank you letter from Donald Trump for campaign donations and a conspiracy theory newsletter. "Yeah, I did order these."
"Hey there," said Julia Roberts' legs from the 80s, in a sultry, weirdly masculine tone. "You lookin' for a good time, sweetie?"
Bamyasi tried to imagine how the legs were speaking, being that they were literally just legs, and it didn't take his imagination long to regret that choice of thoughts. He stood up and yanked down his boxers. His manhood flopped out like an antique accordion, wrinkled and oddly colored. He beckoned for Julia Roberts' legs to come in, and she navigated through heaps of expensive anime figurines and unopened boxes of condoms to where Bam sat, semi-erect.
Page created in 0.043 seconds with 17 queries.